The Flatulence Fallout: Go Won’s Great Fall

It was a humid night at the ultra-exclusive Celestial K-Pop Queens Gala, hosted by none other than BLACKPINK’s Jennie Kim. Only the elite were invited — the ones on Jennie's Secret List of K-Pop’s Untouchables.

LOONA had just arrived, shimmering in matching gowns. Cameras flashed. Everything was perfect.

Then… disaster.

Backstage, Go Won had been nervously sipping on three bottles of banana milk and scarfing down a questionable plate of squid tteokbokki. “It’s fine,” she told herself. “I can hold it in.”

She could not.

During the red carpet photoshoot, as Jennie leaned in for a sweet moment with LOONA, Go Won’s stomach gurgled. A deep, sickening churn like a demon growling underwater.

Then it happened.

PFFFFFFFFFFBBBBBTZZZZZTTKRRRCHHHHH.

The sound was apocalyptic. Like a motorbike dragging gravel through a sewer. The scent? An ungodly mix of fermented eggs, despair, and expired seaweed chips. Idols nearby dropped like flies. Sana from TWICE fled screaming. Seulgi vomited in her handbag. BTS’s Jungkook reportedly said, “I smelled war.”

Go Won looked around in terror as the fog of doom spread. Her eyes teared up. Not from shame — from the stench.

Jennie Kim slowly turned, lowering her sunglasses. Her face was stone cold.

“You…” she said, in a voice that could crack glass, “are no longer on the List.”

A BLACKPINK intern handed her a scroll. Jennie took a gold-plated pen, crossed out Go Won with a flourish, and let the scroll fall into a trash bin.

The silence was thunderous. The damage was irreversible.

Go Won burst into tears. “I didn’t mean to! I—I didn’t think the squid was bad!”

Jennie didn’t blink. “Legends don’t leak.”

LOONA was escorted out of the building by staff in hazmat suits. Go Won’s name trended worldwide — not for her music, but for being the first idol in history to gas-bomb a gala and get erased by Jennie Kim herself.