GDQ trannies on suicide watch right now.

Is there a CAD package that
>is cheapish (max $500/yr, inb4 pirate)
>has parameters that integrate with Google Sheets/Excel
>has text parameters that can be imported to a model/2d geometry
>has g-code export (not a need, but a nice to have)

I want to do a little sign business out of my garage. Ideally I would have products that are customizable without having to go in and change the model with each iteration.

I want to be able to put Basic Girl's(tm) last name/family motto/marriage date w/e into a spreadsheet and have a router table shit out

"(Basic Girl Name) and (Basic Guy Name) married (year) at (stupid town they live in)"

or w/e.

I use Inventor at work, string parameters are abhorrent. I have to do a work around to import text parameters from excel. It's also more than I need for mostly 2d signs.