>>81755601
Here you go anon. Idk if you'll even read this thread or closed the tab after posting it. But for you or any lurkers.

If you read OP and it struck a chord of resonance, I highly recommend reading the essays and works of Schopenhauer. Was very liberating when I was younger and discovered my outlook on life was not new nor was I alone in having such a philosophy.

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/10732/10732-h/10732-h.htm

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/10732/10732-h/10732-h.htm