>>5015569
here

My cat shoes just died in my arms.

I'm still in shock and unable to process this. Like I said earlier, she stopped eating Thursday, took her to the vet Saturday, they told me to bring her back monday if she didn't improve which I was going to do in the morning. But Sunday she declined RAPIDLY. I was considering taking her to an emergency vet but they wanted over $250 just to bring her in and euthanize her so I thought she would make it through the night and I would take her to my normal vet early in the morning.

But about 3 hours ago she abruptly jumped off my lap where she had been laying almost all day and ran to the corner of my room, I checked on her and she was breathing with her mouth open, struggling to breathe. I didn't know what to do and there was no way she would make it to the emergency vet so I just held her in my arms sobbing as she stopped breathing after a few minutes, that's all I could do. I've never had to see one of my animals die like this, the dozens of cats I have owned over the years, all of them passed at the vet with euthanasia.

I feel broken right now, I've always struggled with losing my animals but this is the worst it's ever been, seeing her struggle to breathe like that, watching the life fade from her eyes with no comfort was the worst experience of my life...

To make matters worse, her sister, socks, just passed away last September. She died under similar circumstances, but I was able to bring her to the vet for euthanasia and had time to process what happened to her and her sister to comfort me after she passed. Now I have no cats left, the others I had died in recent years too from old age and cancer.

anyways thanks for reading my TED talk again sorry it's an essay I'm just broken right now and need to cope somehow... pic related is Shoes just a few months ago, she seemed like she would go on forever at some times... I've had many cats live into their 20s. She was 18 years old, born around late 2006.