/fit/ what the fuck do I do. I started off as a fat bastard when I was young cause my parents were poorfag retards that ate the cheapest carb-laden goyslop imaginable. I was fat throughout highschool until i decided to learn why and how to change it. Was smart so I learned everything i could about how different compounds we use for energy interact with our cells and produce fat stores (like hfcs for example being a poison we put into everything, especially if you are buying cheap goymeal like my family was).

Ate VERY clean to a neurotic level, lost a fuckton of weight, learned about SS and lifted. Was at around 180lbs doing 1/2/3/4, then plateaued cause I was still on a lean caloric deficit and realized if i wanted to see my muscle i had to cut off ALL the fat i could beforehand. Did some nuts cardio, at one point was biking 3hr/swim 2hr/run 3mile/mild calisthenics in a day off 700-800kcal when i had time.

Im at fucking 165 (ate and lifted a bit cause i was DYING) and still look like this. I was previously at 157, and still looked like this. Lost lots of muscle, but maintained enough of it for the crazy amount i was cutting. (5'10" height)

How fucking much do I need to cut to stop looking like a fucking melted radioactive piece of human waste? I hate myself and curse my family and me for being fucking stupid every day of my life. I just want to eat again and get swole, but im at body dysmorphia levels of starvation and im losing my fucking mind here.

Should i just run a mild cycle at this point considering im at a dead end and diet like mad/lift to stop fat partitioning this way, or am I cooked like a christmas ham without surgery?

WAGMI? I doubt I will at this rate but i hope so. Any advice for a fucking moron like myself?