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8/2/2025, 2:43:57 PM
>>533639429
Man, Dess was the coolest. Imagine one of those lazy afternoons when time doesn't matter and everything smells like trees and mist and Dess is out in the woods with Asriel, Kris, and Noelle, all just vaguely hanging out like a bunch of cryptids then Kris being Kris quietly drifts away from the group and starts meticulously collecting dead bugs in a cracked plastic lunch container because he's got plans to dump them on Noelle later when she least expects it but then he drifts to where Monster Kid and Snowy were playing near the town and they just see Kris out alone picking up dead bugs and they start roasting him calling him gross laughing at his devil horns but then a few yards away Dess's ear twitches and then enters Dess, she doesn't say anything, she just strolls over with her signature wiffle ball bat like she's in a Tarantino movie and proceeds to beat the absolute fuck out of both of them kids, not enough to get arrested, just enough to establish dominance and maybe instill a little fear-based respect, it's not assault if it's just a wiffle ball bat, obviously, she says so herself to Asriel later, and then, she knights Kris right there with the wiffle bat, Sir Bugboy of the Decaying Thorax, and helps him forage for even more insect corpses so Noelle can be crowned, at long last, as the Carapace Queen of the Forest and Dess scoops Kris up against her side as they laugh at Noelle when she freaks out and tries to get them off her. And then on the way home Dess sees Alphys wearing some anime shirt so she shoulder checks her and calls her a faggot. God she was so cool.
Man, Dess was the coolest. Imagine one of those lazy afternoons when time doesn't matter and everything smells like trees and mist and Dess is out in the woods with Asriel, Kris, and Noelle, all just vaguely hanging out like a bunch of cryptids then Kris being Kris quietly drifts away from the group and starts meticulously collecting dead bugs in a cracked plastic lunch container because he's got plans to dump them on Noelle later when she least expects it but then he drifts to where Monster Kid and Snowy were playing near the town and they just see Kris out alone picking up dead bugs and they start roasting him calling him gross laughing at his devil horns but then a few yards away Dess's ear twitches and then enters Dess, she doesn't say anything, she just strolls over with her signature wiffle ball bat like she's in a Tarantino movie and proceeds to beat the absolute fuck out of both of them kids, not enough to get arrested, just enough to establish dominance and maybe instill a little fear-based respect, it's not assault if it's just a wiffle ball bat, obviously, she says so herself to Asriel later, and then, she knights Kris right there with the wiffle bat, Sir Bugboy of the Decaying Thorax, and helps him forage for even more insect corpses so Noelle can be crowned, at long last, as the Carapace Queen of the Forest and Dess scoops Kris up against her side as they laugh at Noelle when she freaks out and tries to get them off her. And then on the way home Dess sees Alphys wearing some anime shirt so she shoulder checks her and calls her a faggot. God she was so cool.
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