>>40273684
How did it go?
>>40273692
Thank you, Anon.. I try to keep a sustainable pace, I gotta.
>>40273752
You are doing your best to get rid of it, I'm sure. And I am glad you are. I'm rooting for you, I hope you know.
>But lately, as I'm moving towards freedom I feel that on the slightest provication I might begin to cry. Or dump on them. Nobody deserves that.
I have held so many people in my arms as they fell apart, and having a slightly wet shirt was not ever something I was upset over. I like to comfort. It must seem incomprehensible but no, I can take crying just fine. Not everyone can, sure, like I said. But.. some people can. Dumping is more complicated but let's skip nuance for now and say.. a ton of people would not hesitate to squeeze a sobbing mess of a friend, and do so happily.
>I'm so, so sorry, anon.
Please, don't be! I am not hurt in the slightest, I promise! You are doing wonderfully, and I am just making sure I am not hurting you either. Do not worry one bit. Everything is alright between us and I am incredibly happy to see you stick around, okie?
>correct me if I'm wrong, what happened *in there* is neither his fault nor "abuse".
Oh Anon... I wish it was that straightforward. This is all very abstract but, as difficult as it is, all of that on its own is not at all conclusive. Fostered guilt, shame, or feelings of obligation/emotional dependence all can be just as coercive as chains without a single explicit command uttered. Life is complicated like that.. Let's not focus on the label for now though. I am very, very proud of you for fighting your way out. That is what matters. Let's focus on your hand on the door handle for now, and how big of an accomplishment it is.
(A small addendum after reading the other posts: I can infer a great deal from the greater societal context you just provided and.. yeah. I think I have a significantly better grasp now. Thank you so much for taking the time to elaborate.)