Search Results
7/3/2025, 2:46:19 AM
>>57963098
>something I think would be great if the thread had more of
I agree. It’s rare to get detailed reviews like yours in these threads, but they’re very valuable--both for the authors themselves and for other writers who can learn from the feedback.
On that note, I’ve been working on some reviews lately. First, some stories I beta-read. I’ll (try to) keep it brief since I already gave these authors some feedback before.
“National Dex Pokegraphic, Chapter 3: Sacred Spirit Vigil” by Invalid Value-anon
>https://rentry.org/zangoosechapter3
I’m always impressed by the descriptiveness of your writing. I appreciate how you portray native Pokemon having their own culture. It was cool to get more backstory for your characters. The fight scene had good action, but it felt too long and the kooky dialogue skirted the line between entertaining and excessive. However, the bad guys put up more of a fight compared to the rough draft, which is an improvement. Lastly, I still think you overuse epithets for characters (i.e., “awkward polecat”, “furry book-bearer”, etc.) instead of just using their name/species. It can get distracting. Overall, this chapter developed Serpes and the overarching plot of your story nicely, and I’m glad you overcame the struggle and finished it.
“Circus Freaks: The Anchor Town Show”, by Flareon-anon
>https://rentry.org/AnchorTownShow
I liked the conversation with Zoroark and Elekid. It was neat to learn how Kenny’s been training and watch him use his psychic powers in his performance. Seems like you tweaked the magic trick and made him struggle a bit more, which is good, but the climax could have been more satisfying if you had him face even more difficulty. The current climax is alright, though.
1/3
>something I think would be great if the thread had more of
I agree. It’s rare to get detailed reviews like yours in these threads, but they’re very valuable--both for the authors themselves and for other writers who can learn from the feedback.
On that note, I’ve been working on some reviews lately. First, some stories I beta-read. I’ll (try to) keep it brief since I already gave these authors some feedback before.
“National Dex Pokegraphic, Chapter 3: Sacred Spirit Vigil” by Invalid Value-anon
>https://rentry.org/zangoosechapter3
I’m always impressed by the descriptiveness of your writing. I appreciate how you portray native Pokemon having their own culture. It was cool to get more backstory for your characters. The fight scene had good action, but it felt too long and the kooky dialogue skirted the line between entertaining and excessive. However, the bad guys put up more of a fight compared to the rough draft, which is an improvement. Lastly, I still think you overuse epithets for characters (i.e., “awkward polecat”, “furry book-bearer”, etc.) instead of just using their name/species. It can get distracting. Overall, this chapter developed Serpes and the overarching plot of your story nicely, and I’m glad you overcame the struggle and finished it.
“Circus Freaks: The Anchor Town Show”, by Flareon-anon
>https://rentry.org/AnchorTownShow
I liked the conversation with Zoroark and Elekid. It was neat to learn how Kenny’s been training and watch him use his psychic powers in his performance. Seems like you tweaked the magic trick and made him struggle a bit more, which is good, but the climax could have been more satisfying if you had him face even more difficulty. The current climax is alright, though.
1/3
Page 1