>>40092962
cont.

This has also affected my relationship, I fucked up a few times with my girlfriend of now 6 years, and I told her I would do better but I don't end up changing anything even though I'm pretty sure I want to be better for her.
This whole thing is giving me some pretty bad anxiety (in addition to the one I get when I know I'm supposed to be doing something and I know very well that I'm not doing shit), because if I miraculously survive this internship, this next year will be my last year of college and I will have to find a job after that.
And I really don't see how I am going to make that work, I don't think there's many entry level positions that allow for full remote, and even when staying home I can't bring myself to do anything.

I don't even feel legitimate in my issues, pretty much anyone normal would tell me something along the lines of "Boohoo poor thing doesn't want to work" or "you just have to find a job/domain that you really enjoy and then it doesn't feel like work", but this is not limited to work it extends to every aspect of my life. See picrel I guess, I've had a backlog of games, movies, music I really want to play/watch/listen to and I just can't bring myself to it.

I don't know what any anons here will be able to do for me, desu I am not even entitled to an answer from anyone, this just felt good getting off of my chest.
Thank you for reading my blog post, much love to all the other anons in this thread, I don't think I'd be able to help anyone but I'm sending virtual love to everyone here.