How did Birdy even become the number one stunner? She is so disconnected from me as a person, from my life but now she is everything I think about... during a time I have EVERYTHING to think about. I remember 8 years ago posting a list of girls that I just thought were the fucking cutest and I remembered her videos and thought "This girl, this is the girl of girls." and just plopped her into the list. Then over the years her music grew on me more and more and more and she just became Jasmine. Like, her face is adorable. The way she laughs is the best. It's just the best thing I've ever seen.

It's going to kill me when I find out she wants nothing to do with me. I know she knows who i am, they all do. But she beat Renee, Bree, all the other girls, and now even Maria of all girls. My muse of muse and Birdy is even greater.

How did that happen?