I wasted over two decades of my life. I feel like something's inside of me and that I need to do something or it'll burrow out of me like some fucked up chestburster, but I don't know what. I haven't pursued any of my passions, career or studies. Just some asshole NEET who reads books all day. Speaking of studies, my peak neuroplasticity is gone, as is my youth; just utterly fucked. I hate everything about this and I lack even the volubility to convey any of this well or meaningfully. I can't believe I'm only through 33% of my natural life, tops. I don't have another decade in me, but I know I'm too much of a coward to die when I should. I thought I'd feel better after writing this, but I really don't. Just the sensation that I'd probably cry if I wasn't a man, as men don't cry.