>>40299961
i started alt girl coping. enough makeup to not look like myself, cute feminine clothes and accessories to clearly differentiate me from normal men i aspire to be and i use IRL poons in my" friendgroups" and "communities" as a repfuel + a reminder how delusional it is to believe you can be a man while 5'1 and so obviously female. butchcoping didn't really work for me honestly, im not masculine enough body-wise to pull it off and i felt like dogshit; i was so close to lloking like a man but i still wasn't one. while fem/ traditionally girly im just dead inside and wishing for all of this to somehow end.
i also started using art to cope.