Mares and gentlecolts, let me tell you — Baltimare has never been greater. The sim is booming, the scripts are running smooth, and the ploota? Let’s just say — very high quality, the best. Other sims — total disasters, full of lag, full of tourists. Sad!

But here? We have the best ponies, the strongest grid, and absolutely zero tolerance for those filthy Lunas. Not in my sim! I built a firewall — the best firewall — and Lunas? They're not getting through. Not now, not ever.

Baltimare is secure, sexy, and totally based — just the way we like it. And remember — the snowpity is sacred. We will make Baltimare even greater again!

Popen strong. Boop hard. Staffie out.

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Not written by real Staffie