what the FUCK are differential equations

They have destroyed any and all chance for me to live a life that I'm satisfied with, while they get to live their dreams and not have to think even once about what they've done to me. They keep moving further up in life every time I look their names up, and worse of all, they're closer together than ever.
I get that this issue will probably disappear on its own when I start pulling myself by the bootstraps and make some new friends to obsess over instead, but that is going to be difficult if I can't stop thinking about them, instead of myself and what's best for me.