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6/24/2025, 9:24:06 PM
>born in rural West Virginia
>parents living in grandmother's basement, both teenagers
>didn't want to have me in the first place, planned on getting me aborted
>grandmother put a stop to it, as a result I was raised by extended family
>older brother got to live at home, got to decide what we ate every night, got everything he wanted
>anything I had was hand-me-downs or donated
>stopped feeling happy when I was 5
>9, began to cry myself to sleep every night
>I was not taken to the doctor for things I specifically had issues, essentially ignored
>at any opportunity my mother would give me away to extended family for any period of time while my brother lived at home
>continue to cry myself to sleep
>due to the unsupervised nature of my upbringing, sexually abused more times than I'm even aware of
>these memories are hazy and blocked out
>attempt suicide at age 15, obviously doesn't work
>decide to join military
>have complete mental breakdown due to various factors related to my upbringing
>graduate high school and celebrate completely alone
>drop out of the military, go to therapy and get a psychiatrist
>they prescribe me mental health medications related to childhood depression, psychosis, and a third thing I forget
>come home and explain that to my parents
>they make me throw away the prescriptions or move out
>throw away the prescriptions because I'm only 18, stop going to therapy
>attempt suicide again, obviously it doesn't work
>throw myself down a large outdoor staircase when 19
>lay in an abandoned parking lot crying
>hear and see the other side, see the black shape of spirits against an all consuming white background
>children encouraging me to get up and keep fighting
>decide to tackle life with everything I've got
>earn so many scholarships at college I turn a profit
>work full-time hours while attending school full-time
>graduate, get married to my best friend, buy a house in a city thousands of miles away from where I grew up
>still not happy
>parents living in grandmother's basement, both teenagers
>didn't want to have me in the first place, planned on getting me aborted
>grandmother put a stop to it, as a result I was raised by extended family
>older brother got to live at home, got to decide what we ate every night, got everything he wanted
>anything I had was hand-me-downs or donated
>stopped feeling happy when I was 5
>9, began to cry myself to sleep every night
>I was not taken to the doctor for things I specifically had issues, essentially ignored
>at any opportunity my mother would give me away to extended family for any period of time while my brother lived at home
>continue to cry myself to sleep
>due to the unsupervised nature of my upbringing, sexually abused more times than I'm even aware of
>these memories are hazy and blocked out
>attempt suicide at age 15, obviously doesn't work
>decide to join military
>have complete mental breakdown due to various factors related to my upbringing
>graduate high school and celebrate completely alone
>drop out of the military, go to therapy and get a psychiatrist
>they prescribe me mental health medications related to childhood depression, psychosis, and a third thing I forget
>come home and explain that to my parents
>they make me throw away the prescriptions or move out
>throw away the prescriptions because I'm only 18, stop going to therapy
>attempt suicide again, obviously it doesn't work
>throw myself down a large outdoor staircase when 19
>lay in an abandoned parking lot crying
>hear and see the other side, see the black shape of spirits against an all consuming white background
>children encouraging me to get up and keep fighting
>decide to tackle life with everything I've got
>earn so many scholarships at college I turn a profit
>work full-time hours while attending school full-time
>graduate, get married to my best friend, buy a house in a city thousands of miles away from where I grew up
>still not happy
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