>"Anonymous, thank you for coming."
>Celestia had personally given you a "royal summons" to the castle in Canterlot.
"Yeah yeah, lets get this stupid shit over with already. I have to spray Fabreeze all over my furniture because Fluttershy spent all night GRINDING on my stuff!"
>Celestia ignores your obvious attempt to be blunt and throw her off her usual dignified demeanor.
>"I called you hear to address just that!" She says, jovially
"Oh? Whaddya gonna do? Sign a restraining order that won't work? Assign me my own guards who will just work and weave their way into thinking raping me is actually helping to protect me!?"
>"Oh heavens no!" She giggles, clearly downplaying the gravity of your plight, "I've simply found a way to relieve you of any and all burden with any other mare!"
>You sigh heavily, knowing this is going to be some kind of absolute retardation.
>"It really is quite nice."
"Here it comes."
>"You'll be well taken care of."
"Here we go..."
>"You're going to marry me!"
"There it is."
>"NEIGH! We shall not allow this!"
>A familiar Moonhorse voice calls out.
>"Luna?? Oh just go back to sleep, would you?"
>"We will not, sister! We shall not allow such a thing to take place! Anonymous has stolen MY heart! He shall marry me!"
>"Oh please, he doesn't even like you!"
"I don't like EITHER OF YOU!"
>"See?" Celestia says, smug as ever.
>"HNGRR!!"
>Luna growls at Sunbutt, her horn glowing, thrumming with intense magic.
>"Don't pull out that kind of power if you're not going to use it!"
>Celestia's horn follow suite.
>The entire room begins to shake.
>Cracks form in the floor, the pillars supporting the ceiling creak and crumble.
>Upon seeing this and the twin super powered psychos showing no signs of chilling the fuck out, you get the fuck outta there.
>You run until your lungs are on fire, wheezing and panting like a chain smoker until your a safe distance away out of the castle.
>Looking back, a massive explosion, a mix of blue and gold magics envelope an entire wing of the stone walls and ignites.
>Bits and pieces of stone architecture are sent flying all over the city.
>You duck and cover in an alleyway.
"God dammit why is it that every time I come to Canterlot some wild shit happens."
>You begin walking to the train station before being stopped by a group of guard mares.
>"You there! You're under arrest!"
"FOR WHAT!?"
>They tackle you to the ground and put you in chains.
>"Thats enough outta you, Mr. sexy pants!"
"Mister WHAT!?"
>"Lets get him back to the barracks! Its for his own protection~."
>They collectively cheer and drag you away.
>Fuck Canterlot.