Search Results
6/29/2025, 8:30:00 PM
>review https://www.fimfiction.net/story/383344/to-perytonia
To Perytonia's premise is simple. Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy go to a foreign land and visit each city as they journey to the capital. Each city is very distinct, so we see a wide variety of cultures and enjoy the cast's attempts to understand them. Highlights include Fluttershy telling a story, Dash making friends with a warrior culture, and knocking over a big bird. It is very low stakes. You will also enjoy some of the lore, Luna thinking Dash has a death wish, and Fluttershy being awesome.
Much can be explained about To Perytonia by repeating what the blurb accurately says it is: adventure with a romance subplot. I do not do well reviewing such works because they rarely have big highs or lows that make it easy to point out the story's strengths and weaknesses. The obvious strength is that the fic was planned out. If you want to find adventure writing or world-building done right, then look here. The story certainly did what it was trying to do. At times I thought that I could skip three chapters ahead without much loss, but I would have paid the price for that later on.
I have not praised the romance. Some of the fic's stronger scenes come from it, with the second joust being a common example, but I find the romance pretty forgettable.
The weaknesses of the fic are so obvious, even early on in your read, that the author's notes in the epilogue points one of them out. I will not give spoilers here, but it suffices to say that the romance subplot relies on Rainbow Dash repeatedly missing something obvious and that the adventure relies on all of the ponies missing something that is obvious to the reader. The word most often used is "contrived". A much less significant weakness is that the fic has a few clear typos. It could have done with just one more editing pass.
Another issue is that the fic is damn long, so long that it probably harms the story. It's 70,000 words longer than The Lord of the Rings. At no point does it feel like a slog. On the contrary, I'd say that it's very easy reading. Unless you want to go as far as totally cutting out the romance, there is little obvious that could be cut entirely. I'd say that the weaker parts are the scenes of travelling between cities (character drama between the three ponies is the main thing keeping that afloat) and that the Morrowsworn stuff near the end takes up a lot of words and feels like it derails the plot. If anything can be cut down, it is there. I promise that you will have entirely forgotten some characters before the last time they are mentioned.
I cannot deny that the fic hooked me very quickly. At the start, just the mystery of Perytonia was enough. Later on, you're reading because the cast is fun. I do not regret the read, but I cannot imagine re-reading it. The length alone makes me hesitate to recommend it, but it is certainly far above the average that I expect from fan fiction.
To Perytonia's premise is simple. Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy go to a foreign land and visit each city as they journey to the capital. Each city is very distinct, so we see a wide variety of cultures and enjoy the cast's attempts to understand them. Highlights include Fluttershy telling a story, Dash making friends with a warrior culture, and knocking over a big bird. It is very low stakes. You will also enjoy some of the lore, Luna thinking Dash has a death wish, and Fluttershy being awesome.
Much can be explained about To Perytonia by repeating what the blurb accurately says it is: adventure with a romance subplot. I do not do well reviewing such works because they rarely have big highs or lows that make it easy to point out the story's strengths and weaknesses. The obvious strength is that the fic was planned out. If you want to find adventure writing or world-building done right, then look here. The story certainly did what it was trying to do. At times I thought that I could skip three chapters ahead without much loss, but I would have paid the price for that later on.
I have not praised the romance. Some of the fic's stronger scenes come from it, with the second joust being a common example, but I find the romance pretty forgettable.
The weaknesses of the fic are so obvious, even early on in your read, that the author's notes in the epilogue points one of them out. I will not give spoilers here, but it suffices to say that the romance subplot relies on Rainbow Dash repeatedly missing something obvious and that the adventure relies on all of the ponies missing something that is obvious to the reader. The word most often used is "contrived". A much less significant weakness is that the fic has a few clear typos. It could have done with just one more editing pass.
Another issue is that the fic is damn long, so long that it probably harms the story. It's 70,000 words longer than The Lord of the Rings. At no point does it feel like a slog. On the contrary, I'd say that it's very easy reading. Unless you want to go as far as totally cutting out the romance, there is little obvious that could be cut entirely. I'd say that the weaker parts are the scenes of travelling between cities (character drama between the three ponies is the main thing keeping that afloat) and that the Morrowsworn stuff near the end takes up a lot of words and feels like it derails the plot. If anything can be cut down, it is there. I promise that you will have entirely forgotten some characters before the last time they are mentioned.
I cannot deny that the fic hooked me very quickly. At the start, just the mystery of Perytonia was enough. Later on, you're reading because the cast is fun. I do not regret the read, but I cannot imagine re-reading it. The length alone makes me hesitate to recommend it, but it is certainly far above the average that I expect from fan fiction.
Page 1