>>76304571
yeah, this is pretty good. I am well aware of scenarios like this but my brain loves to hide them behind the cope, and I am a copemaster.
I've been looking for materials in a theme of memento mori lately, as I noticed that fear is a really good motivator that works for me, and this is exactly what I needed.

>>76304677
>>76306575
>>76306604
>>76304763
Anon, if you like psychology read up on Adler's approach.
Or better yet, skip psychology and read a book that's called "Courage to be disliked"
>inb4 faggy self help book

Its not a faggy self help book but a philosophical discourse in a form of dialogue between a young man and a philosopher. Like Socratic dialogue.

I read it last year and that book woke me up and allowed me to overcome my fear for the first few time in years, instead of just living around it. I kinda got stuck in a rut, and had the idea based around psychology that if only I get to the root of my behaviours I will know why I am so broken. Well turns out selective memory is a defense mechanism of the brain and some things were meant to be forgotten.

I am a 31 year old overweight KHV and I hate myself immensely. All the terrible shit I could think of happened in my life. I was beaten by my mother, abandoned by my biological father, my sister friends raped me and molested me for months when I was 6 (sorry shota bros, real thing is really not hot at all, especially if you're 6), bullied in every schools I went to, some literally 90's russia black dolphin prison style waterboarding and shit. Betrayed by my "best" friends, almost killed twice, stabbed. I was a drug addict.
This is from top of my head, because if I listed everything I would need a few hours, and I am not trying to vent. I am just trying to paint a picture. My knowledge of psychology only allowed me to cope with the matter of fact - people like me don't recover. Spent years trying to dig myself out and failing, it was truly over and I DESERVED it.

cont. in next post