I feel like a fucking retard. Just sitting staring at my computer. There's this nudge inside my consciousness that keeps trying to tell me something as i paint the canvas. Stop painting you useless piece of shirt. Fucking asshole bitch faggot.


Then After some time when the painting looks good or reaches some pivotable moment of wow. The feeling goes away. It changes it's mind. The aura completely changes in the room and I feel alright. Like I have a purpose in the world for just a brief moment.

This happens every time I paint.