You may not want to admit it but you are doing it, aren't you? You wish you can fully integrate into China's sphere of influence, after all, who wouldn't want to be on the winning side?
That's all good, just don't expect the Chinese view you as one of them. This girl was born and grown up in China, being called a "foreigner" all the time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2DEpe_3roA

Girl was born and grown up in China, being called a “foreigner” all the time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2DEpe_3roA

Girl was born and grown up in China, being called foreigner:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2DEpe_3roA