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6/30/2025, 1:17:55 PM
>>40229210
Hi, estronon here, haven't been here in a while.
Yesterday, I finished couch to 5k! It's been 18 + 1 runs. I ran 5.7 km with a 6:05 min/km pace on my last run, I'm pretty slow :( I want to improve my speed again, but I'm afraid of getting injured if I'm not careful. I'm not quite sure how to move on with my training, but I know I want to keep jogging 3 times per week for now, it is pretty nice having that structure.
Other than that, I've been reading quite a bit, which was nice. BMI is 18.7 right now, so that's alright, but I've had quite a few days the last two weeks or so where I binge ate and threw up. I've been doing pretty well before that, but I got rejected *again* by some psychiatric housing offer which made me feel absolutely hopeless. If I am too bad for even "therapy" and so on, how am I supposed to get a job or my own apartment? I think everyone rejects me and I can understand why, but can't fix it. It seems impossibly hard to be part of this world.
I also went to a pride march last weekend (took the bus and train to a city, in total I had to commute like 6 hours), I did not feel very well (heat, noise, pain, not used to so many people), and I often had to nope out into nearby parks, but I'm still glad I went. It was nice seeing so many different people with flags, in pretty clothes, in good spirits.
I did not talk to anyone or socialize, which is sad maybe, but it is what it is. I wish I could meet people, but it's hard. It's like my face and body language don't work anymore and it's painful to even look at people. It seems impossible making acquaintances or friends, or being part of anything.
But I will be able to visit my boyfriend this summer!
Other than that, some health anxiety from the new injectable diy estradiol I got. I have to get blood tests sometime again. I have gotten pretty bad headaches and a stiff neck.
Hi, estronon here, haven't been here in a while.
Yesterday, I finished couch to 5k! It's been 18 + 1 runs. I ran 5.7 km with a 6:05 min/km pace on my last run, I'm pretty slow :( I want to improve my speed again, but I'm afraid of getting injured if I'm not careful. I'm not quite sure how to move on with my training, but I know I want to keep jogging 3 times per week for now, it is pretty nice having that structure.
Other than that, I've been reading quite a bit, which was nice. BMI is 18.7 right now, so that's alright, but I've had quite a few days the last two weeks or so where I binge ate and threw up. I've been doing pretty well before that, but I got rejected *again* by some psychiatric housing offer which made me feel absolutely hopeless. If I am too bad for even "therapy" and so on, how am I supposed to get a job or my own apartment? I think everyone rejects me and I can understand why, but can't fix it. It seems impossibly hard to be part of this world.
I also went to a pride march last weekend (took the bus and train to a city, in total I had to commute like 6 hours), I did not feel very well (heat, noise, pain, not used to so many people), and I often had to nope out into nearby parks, but I'm still glad I went. It was nice seeing so many different people with flags, in pretty clothes, in good spirits.
I did not talk to anyone or socialize, which is sad maybe, but it is what it is. I wish I could meet people, but it's hard. It's like my face and body language don't work anymore and it's painful to even look at people. It seems impossible making acquaintances or friends, or being part of anything.
But I will be able to visit my boyfriend this summer!
Other than that, some health anxiety from the new injectable diy estradiol I got. I have to get blood tests sometime again. I have gotten pretty bad headaches and a stiff neck.
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