Hello, A. I know that repeating how much of a loser I am to you likely never helped much; this is instead to take accountability and try communicating what was wrong with my mindset. I've vowed to do better and begun facing my fears, making concrete moves like starting therapy.

You stood true to yourself and let go of me, causing a reality check which helped me escape my poor headspace. Thank you for your sincerity and emotional strength. That being said, you didn't deserve the way I treated you, and you were 100% in the right. I worry the way I cut you off hit you harder than you let on. I want to leave no doubt it was my fault. I'm sorry.

3 paragraphs omitted for anonymity

My goal is do the least I can by apologizing with newfound clarity. Not for who I am, but what I did. Still, what I did was both pathetic and scummy. However you feel about it, I just hope you're doing okay.