>>40308183
That's probably Repper's Depression (term coined by me right now).
You feel weak as shit because most of your energy is going towards staying sane and somewhat stable on a shitty situation.
You should recover more strength by decreasing misery, so at this point it's just a simple decision
>stay miserable forever and probably rope later
or
>try to do something, no matter how small, in hopes of recovering
What are the things you can do at the moment? You mentioned not having anything to lose, so I'm assuming you can probably buy DIY or something like that.