i forgot about susie and the piano
very telling, very melanin-enriched behavior. the desire to break and destroy, and the knowledge that she'd hate someone else for being able to play, yet the lack of realization that she ever actually did anything wrong. now that i think about it, almost all of susie's behavior actually makes perfect sense if you consider the idea that she has no real concept of past or future, and that anything she has done, or will do, is "some other lizza." the susie of chapter 1 is literally not the susie of chapters 2, 3, or 4 in her mind.