Israel has universal healthcare and you pay for it by subsidizing their military so they have more budget free for healthcare.

You face ruinous hospital bills while your taxes also pay for jews' healthcare in Israel.

Women who insist on settling down in their 30s after sleeping with random men in their 20s are genuinely evil people. Marriage is for good virgin women.

jews rape kids

I don't have enough felonies to be attractive to women (none, in fact). I don't have a criminal record. I don't deal drugs. I don't damage society. I'm a productive working man and this gives women the ick. So. I need to get a few felonies under my belt, do a little time in jail at least, so that women will identify me as a dysgenic, corrosive, anti-societal individual and reward me with affection.

However, I don't want to spend a lot of time in jail. So, I need advice on two things.
1. What felonies are best for this purpose? Ideally, some that don't harm other people. I want to appear to be the sort of person women like (someone who harms others), not actually be one.
2. How do I get the Canadian justice system to see me as someone deserving of great lenience? As it is right now I'm too law-abiding and too working-class, they'll probably look at me and see "oh, a citizen" and throw the book at me, I need them to look at me and see "oh, criminal scum" and give me a slap on the wrist.

Thoughts and advice are welcome.

reminder that jews believe Jesus Christ is in hell boiling in a pot of liquid shit

these are the people neocons idolize and want you to go to war for

Being thirty kinda sucks. I lost my superpower of being able to easily do allnighters. Now I get all sleepy at 10PM like a normie.