So I'm a former incel (terminally online loner and pimple-faced video game and porn addict in my teens, didn't get laid until I was 20) who's slowly chadded out over the past few years by completely cutting all that out except for 1 hour of vidya a day, self-improving - working on appearance, life goals, social skills, etc., and all of a sudden I realized I've started affecting women emotionally and making them really upset when I don't give them attention.

Not only that, but I realized I actually like it. Breaking women's hearts and making them upset feels really good. I get a big rush out of it. I just got an angry wall of text today from a woman I ghosted telling me that I made her feel so many things and then ripped her out of my life and she feels like she's dying, crying every day and it's unfair to do that to her etc. etc. Meanwhile it literally didn't affect me whatsoever to cut her out because she wasn't even in my top 5. I've got so many people I talk to, I didn't even think about her. But I noticed it made me happy that I affected her so much. This isn't the first one either, just the most intense.

Is this wrong of me and should I stop? I didn't intentionally start doing this, it's just a consequence of having too many options. That said, I actually really enjoy it. Why is that? Is it my resentment over my loser days coming out subconsciously or do guys who have been successful their whole lives also feel happy in situations like this? I don't want to be a bad person and my feelings do concern me. I feel bad for her but also it's a big ego boost.

And don't worry, I will hang out with her again after she said all that, I'm not a heartless guy and I do care about her feelings. Just saying seeing her hurt also makes me feel good and turns me on.