Anyone else get kind of grossed out when people talk about
>feeling like they are one with the universe
when talking about drug trips or religious experiences? I dont want to feel one with this universe, i HATE this universe, how do i feel as far removed from it as possibly

I am completely stumped, been on a productive roll recently, doing a lot of work from intense exercise to studying, and i just still hate life and want to die. ive kept a journal, 8 months now of consistently going to the gym, working, reading, ect. I accomplished a lot but honestly i still just really want to die. i dont get it