I've been on hrt for 4 years and recently started experimenting with clothes..... I like what I see in the mirror but I'm ashamed that I want this. I downplay myself by saying I'm such a faggot for this. Im too ugly, I'm a brick, my voice sucks. I just generally insult myself for wanting to be a girlmoder and having others see me as an actual girl. I call myself agp for being even slightly happy about performing femininity

Why am I so ashamed of actually trying? Why can't I just come out and be a full time girlmoder?

How can I subconsciously make myself more fembrained?

I want to speak in a girl voice without noticing and be as womenly as possible. I want people to see me as gentle and soft. I can't let go of the "toughguy" act though.

I keep telling Anons I don't like to kill themselves, and I keep listening to malebrained music like sematary. please help.

Ive noticed that a lot of agps (most john 50s lilytino) have stories where they try crossdressing and then end up transitioning. Whereas a lot of fourtranners don't wear girl clothes at all until someone makes them feel comfortable doing it (hence boyremoval) Am I on to something here.