...sometimes, albeit rarely, i feel very happy and fröhlich... but during those times i also tend to feel an accompanying emotion of guilt... i feel bad for being happy.. i feel naive and privileged.... its hard to be happy when people around the world are suffering.

The chances of being born in a western 1st world country are low, and the chances of living in one of the best countries is even lower. No matter how I look at it I won the lottery.
Other people can be happy or even rationalize it. But i find it hard to stomach how unfair the world is...

At least im working minimum wage. I feel like if i was a high earner id also be like losing a part of my humanity.
Because at a certain point, ridiculous luck basically seperates you from the normal human condition. Too much luck can dehumanize a person I think.
I dont know anymore..
I feel monastey monks have got it right.

Or maybe political activists.

I understand the push for communism when its from an inherent inequality built into the fabric of reality.
But i disapprove of communism derived from envy and hunger for power.

The goal should be for everyone to be as happy as possible.
But in the current prison dimension, we have a pyramid of torture where those at the bottom suffer so those at the top can prosper. That cant be right....