idk i lied my body won’t stop freaking out and i can’t stop obsessive thoughts. i just want to hear from the person but ive burnt the bridge multiple times over and am embarrassingly crazy. everything always feels like the last straw but this one does more than ever and idk why realistically it’s just as someone ik online for a bit. i’m just such a retard for ruining it like i do everything it’s genuinely such a hopeless world and hopeless circumstances. nothing will ever work out. normally people can leave and im fine why does this trigger me so much. i’m such a nasty human. i have a partner too and i intend staying with them. i’m in love with two ppl and im heinous and unfixavle. i can’t do anything in the world either i need desperately to kms but im too scared of hell there is genuinely nothing to look forward to and everything is at a loss when i interact with it because i wasn’t made to be fit in this world and ik i burden everyone and everything and i was never wanted or had any hope. i want to be hurt and it’s my fault everything and i wish i could take accountability and fix anything but im not meant for life. i just want my dad to not hurt and my siblings but they now im nasty and embarrassing. it’s such a heinous existence i don’t wanna know and