Semi-bump.
Tomorrow I’ll be going to the doctor for another follow up consultation and the thought of it is making me feel … Well, I dont know what the right words for it are anymore. Dejected - Hopeless - Nervous - Mad. Fed up, maybe. Overwhelmed. Exhausted.
I’m out of antibiotics now. Minor side effects aside theres no doubt they helped, but I can tell whatever infection I have accumulated over the past 3-4 months of the doctors denying it isn’t cured for good.

On another note my mom had lunch with me the day I picked up my prescription.
I tried opening up about the fear I have for my brother following the time he wanted to kill me during his psychosis, and how it bothers me because I can tell he likes me now, but all I got out of it was a bitter snappy remark along the lines of “my mother had schizophrenia when I was I child and I had to navigate that too, think about that”, implying that I had to suck it up and move on because life was tough on her in the past.
I wasnt asking for blind sympathy. I just wanted some tips on how to make my relation to my brother as okay as possible without getting stabbed because I let my guard down at the wrong time.
I’m tired.