every day I think about my past suicide attempts

I think about the times I hadn't tried to die but should have

I think about how I hate my life and feel as though I dont have any true friends online or in real life very often

I have tried speaking to my family about it and I dont get anything from them really

I have a job but I do not enjoy it

I have had relationships but I do not want another in the future nor do I want friendships really as people tend to suck

Im probably going to end up trying to kill myself within the next month or two but here is a thread of me whining