Can I learn particle physics up to doctorate level but skipping the maths? Is this possible? I want to know the misteries of our universe, but I'm a mathlet

>be me, dating my transgender gf for 3 months
>accidentally cheat on her with a girl
>she's understanding, says we all make mistakes and that she doesn't wanna lose me, and forgives me
>2 months later cheat on her with a man
>she's angry, won't hear me out, calls me a faggot and breaks up with me
what caused this change in behaviour?

My brother said it was inappropiate to come out to him as we're siblings and we can't have sex.