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7/23/2025, 9:06:32 AM
I have a raccoon issue.
>I know, trap/shoot them etc is the only way etc
There's 5, I'm not interested in committing a raccoon genocide and traumatizing my wife, yet. I also don't want to be hauling raccoons around, I'd sooner holocaust them but I'm waiting until they do something more egregious. The main issue is that we leave cat food out for the stray cats. Those aren't the issue either, I enjoy them. But these fat fucking raccoons will steal the food, and the fattest one has the nerve to use our yard as his personal campground during the night.
>pic related
I've tried a few different methods throughout my war against them. Spraying them with an automatic sprinkler, making the food harder to access, flying a drone at them, etc. They know they can come back later and likely won't suffer consequences while I sleep. I was planning to electrify a food bowl using an electric fly swatter with the positive wire extended about 30ft so I could control it from inside, and my proof of concept works, but I think the Chinese capacitor is 2000V and once again I'd rather try less lethal avenues before potentially frying a raccoon and traumatizing my wife (if that's even a risk with the D batteries, not sure, and I'll probably get to a point where I don't care.)
>what next?
Well, I would like to modify the roof of this cat house that this obesity raccoon is enjoying himself on. I'm not sure what sort of actuator or motor would make this doable. My idea is to make it act like a springboard, where I can switch it on and have the roof violently catapult the raccoon into the air and across the yard. A good throws worth of distance like if I spun him by his tail and let him fly off into the sunset carried by his own excessive weight until he lands stunned, disoriented, and with his relaxing night ruined. Imagine a cartoonish style catapult flinging him off of the roof. Any suggestions on what to look for?
>I know, trap/shoot them etc is the only way etc
There's 5, I'm not interested in committing a raccoon genocide and traumatizing my wife, yet. I also don't want to be hauling raccoons around, I'd sooner holocaust them but I'm waiting until they do something more egregious. The main issue is that we leave cat food out for the stray cats. Those aren't the issue either, I enjoy them. But these fat fucking raccoons will steal the food, and the fattest one has the nerve to use our yard as his personal campground during the night.
>pic related
I've tried a few different methods throughout my war against them. Spraying them with an automatic sprinkler, making the food harder to access, flying a drone at them, etc. They know they can come back later and likely won't suffer consequences while I sleep. I was planning to electrify a food bowl using an electric fly swatter with the positive wire extended about 30ft so I could control it from inside, and my proof of concept works, but I think the Chinese capacitor is 2000V and once again I'd rather try less lethal avenues before potentially frying a raccoon and traumatizing my wife (if that's even a risk with the D batteries, not sure, and I'll probably get to a point where I don't care.)
>what next?
Well, I would like to modify the roof of this cat house that this obesity raccoon is enjoying himself on. I'm not sure what sort of actuator or motor would make this doable. My idea is to make it act like a springboard, where I can switch it on and have the roof violently catapult the raccoon into the air and across the yard. A good throws worth of distance like if I spun him by his tail and let him fly off into the sunset carried by his own excessive weight until he lands stunned, disoriented, and with his relaxing night ruined. Imagine a cartoonish style catapult flinging him off of the roof. Any suggestions on what to look for?
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