Pardon the pause by the way, napped.
>>40222044
>I feel like I'm trying to process a lot of information and I need some way to stabilize my system.
You are making progress, clearly, and yes it is crucial you let yourself recuperate too for these positive changes to be sustainable. You have a good intuition.
>and I can sense im resisting understanding, and it tends to get frustrated and freak out when I don't understand what it's saying.
I think these things are just like that, and yeah, some guidance from your therapist would be helpful. I dunno (forgot?) what they are like, but I would say freaking out occasionally is normal. You might want to, if you can, keep a journal/diary where you can just loosely try to articulate feelings. It would allow you to keep better track of your development and forces you to do some rubber ducking (usually a programming term, if you look it up you get what I mean though, I think).
>I wish I knew how to have these conversations with myself better, cause nothing really important seems to stick
I am a very externalizing person, which is not always the best, but having people who have been through these things and grappled with their own related insecurities to talk to can help you make sense of it all. Let me generally tell you though: feelings being confusing/scary/difficult to interpret and you sometimes needing a break or being frustrated/not getting it is not a form of regression. Letting yourself feel things and explore negative emotions safely is part of it all.
>Anyway I'm trying to focus on goals & moving outward & not letting my brain trap me.
>I want to possess and express and metabolize every detail & in the bluntest sense my freedom is contingent on not being consumed in those compulsions, not thinking black and white
Very good. All this sounds great honestly, Anon!
> Great shares, ty
I'm elated you liked them. Honestly those channels have some generally inspiring stuff,