When i watched soaps yrs ago i was jealous of neurotypicals nd how They acted really comfortable with each other on the screen nd didnt get anxiety about talkign to each other nd they jst have a vibe of like easy going nd even though bad stuff happens on a soap (fictional) I dont know they always had resilience nd always have ppl to depend on in their life nd even if they lose everyone theyd find new ppl nd stuff like that.I really wanted stuff like that nd just interface with the world in the regular way that you see on soaps where they walk into a pub nd have a conversation.At my age If am at the pub its wiv my mother nd she orders drinks for me.Theres something missing from my life thats so essential to living properly.