Maybe I have quiet BPD. I spend most of my time alone, and I don't mind when my dad leaves to do things with others. I have realized that I love my dad more than anyone else, and that he loves me more than anyone else, and that my life is going to be absolutely horrible when he's gone. I feel tons of shame over the fact that I've been a NEET this whole time and haven't really done anything for him in return. I can randomly get really angry at him, especially when I feel like he's not listening to me. I get really upset when he includes me in the list of people he has essentially given all his time and energy to without anything in return. I have also had suicidal thoughts going on for many years now.

I want someone to finally reply to this thread.