Is it possible for a man to have BPD while also being an incel? I seriously need to visit a psychologist again. I know very well I have OCD, and I have been diagnosed with it, but I now strongly suspect I have something else. I used to think all the crazy shit going on in my mind was just OCD, but after doing a lot of research, asking ChatGPT tons of questions, and watching tons of videos on psychology and relationships, especially personality disorders, I now realize I likely have something else going on.
I rarely ever act out in public, aside from a few instances where I had some difficulty controlling my frustration when dealing with my dad, but at home, I often experience extreme emotions. I get extremely angry, followed by feeling intense shame, which is occasionally followed by excitement. I've had insomnia which I believe is at least mostly caused by OCD since I was in middle school. This keeps me from getting and maintaining any sort of job where I need to show up from A time to B time, so a 9 to 5 job. (I am 25 now, and I've been on NEETbux since I was 21.) I've always known that I would get super angry or super excited, and this would keep me from falling asleep, even if I took strong medications, including ambien. I also have tons of anxiety and occasionally get tremors in my hands, but I'm not sure if they come from just anxiety. I at least raise my voice against my dad on a virtually daily basis. I live with him. I occasionally yell at him. My dad has always told me that the neighbors can hear it and don't like it. I've never been able to change.
My mom is the craziest person in my family. I didn't grow up with her, as she lost custody of me at a very young age, but she has had multiple stays at mental institutions. They diagnosed her as bipolar, but she is always crazy. As an adult, starting in my mid teens, I have had quite a few interactions with her. She is crazy as hell, prone to anger, and behaves relatively poorly towards strangers in public, like this waitress when I went to a restaurant with her a year or two ago, and I rarely ever go out with her, and she is also a pathological liar. It really seems like she has one or more personality disorders. My uncle, her brother, is a very obvious narcissist. He's a loser with nothing to show off, but he is always insulting others, criticizing others, demanding pity, demanding apologies, and he absolutely cannot handle any criticism. He also seemingly has no empathy and is emotionally sadistic. He is a textbook vulnerable narcissist. I virtually have no contact with him, but family bullshit means I might have to talk to him around once a year. My grandma, their parent, is also crazy as hell and rages every day.
Based on what is going on with me, it seems like BPD is the most likely issue, but the thing is, I don't really think I have a fear of abandonment. Maybe I do, but I'm unaware of it. Aside from going to the gym, I've rarely ever gone out to socialize and talk with friends, and I've never had a girlfriend. I have been posting a lot on 4chan, though. Covid destroyed me mentally. I stopped going to the gym and became an alcoholic. I talk a lot with discord friends now, but I do feel pretty bad that a lot of them aren't talking to me like they used to, so I now feel really lonely. I DID have abandonment issues when I was a young child, though. I hated getting separated from my dad. I also remember when I was in middle school raging at my best friend because he stopped talking to me like he used to, moving on to new friends.
If you anons want to read more about me, you can check out these two other threads I've made.
https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/81823593/
>>>/pol/511994606
I keep on starting threads like this and never getting any replies. I've been doing this for years, and I'm 25.
From more reading after prompting ChatGPT a bit, I might just have C-PTSD due to a lack of fear of abandonment, but I don't think I have any dissociation or flashbacks. I did have nightmares after a traumatic emotional event in 2019, though, and these lasted for possibly around 2 years. I feel pretty desperate now. I just want some answers. I really want to see my psychologist again, but I don't know what to tell her.
Maybe I have quiet BPD. I spend most of my time alone, and I don't mind when my dad leaves to do things with others. I have realized that I love my dad more than anyone else, and that he loves me more than anyone else, and that my life is going to be absolutely horrible when he's gone. I feel tons of shame over the fact that I've been a NEET this whole time and haven't really done anything for him in return. I can randomly get really angry at him, especially when I feel like he's not listening to me. I get really upset when he includes me in the list of people he has essentially given all his time and energy to without anything in return. I have also had suicidal thoughts going on for many years now.
I want someone to finally reply to this thread.
Something is wrong with me, and I'm lonely.
If anybody thinks I'm retarded, let me know. I'm 25, and I feel like a child. People my age are getting married, and I can't even get a girlfriend. I can't even get a job due to my insomnia. I wish I were at least a trust fund kid, but I would still feel like shit for not having a job, but I would likely be have way better chances with women. I started this thread a while ago of my elementary school best friend who has gotten to reproduce twice, with his first time having been in 2020, and he's an incompetent trust fund kid retard.
https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/81161149/
I have quiet bpd and can't really relate so I can't help you. Keep asking chatgpt tho.
>>82063044>Keep asking chatgpt tho.I started realizing I likely have something other than just OCD after asking if certain thoughts and behaviors I had were coming from OCD, and I started getting different answers. This is also when I learned what shame actually is. It's an intense emotion where you feel like you want to make yourself feel small and keep distance from others and feel like a terrible person. I've been feeling this on likely a daily basis since my late teens, and I just learned this isn't normal. I've also been regularly getting super angry. I get insane thoughts, like the ones I brought up in this thread. >>>/pol/511994606 I also randomly get excited. I know when my dad comes around, like coming to the door to my room, that I need to get my shit together. This has been contributing to my insomnia along with my OCD. Even without OCD thoughts, I still need to take drugs to calm myself down. My self esteem is also crushed.
