>>95982117
>This. The resolution is more like "you attempt to dodge, tell me how that goes" and i say "it was close, but i'm fine" and then you go "oh, ok. carry on" also i beat the kobolds and save the jailbait

This is the key post. Setting aside all the humorous mockery, it's fucking crazy that this is what story gamers believe people want to play. It's not a game. There's zero challenge and zero risk of losing. Girls' pee wee soccer provides more competition and drama. It's improv theatre at its absolute lowest level. Only a bizarre shut-in like Ron Edwards and his rpg.net groupies could come up with it.

>DM: "The dragon crashes through the cavern ceiling and attacks! He breathes a hurricane of fire upon you! What happens next?"
>Player 1: "Uh... I roll and avoid all the fire! I, um, shriek my slogan Orc Lives Matter and, uh, well..."
>Player 2: "I jump up and shoot an arrow into his eye and the dragon dies and his belly splits open and showers me with gold and I'm now the king!"
>DM: "Whoa, we've really created an amazing story here, gang. It's a narrative that rivals any fantasy novel."