Computer, create a two-to-one scaled copy of of Hex Maniac from the Pokemon video game series, including all normal life functions and otherwise identical to a normal person. Give this copy a severe lactose intolerance, and simulate her consumed several bottles of Moo Moo milk several hours prior. Create an ordinary chair, tall enough for her to be seated on, and replace the center of the seat with a face cutout fit to one Reginald Barclay. Lock Holodeck doors and disengage safety protocols.