>>40257506
Mispancake has a harness for walks.
When I get home everyday, I yell "Shtiinkyyyy" and she comes trotting from anywhere in the house to mush her forehead on me and get pets.
I have little nerf golf alls she likes to chase, and while she doesn't bring them back to me, she has a spot she brings them to, so I can just stay there.
And I play with her with toys everyday so she isn't bored and pouncey and doesn't associate my body with play.

Everything you've described as bad cat behaviour is a direct result of subpar treatment from their parents.