~Theres so much to unpack, I moved into my old place since I couldn't find anything cheaper. Instead of drinking and talking im in my room on 4chan on a Friday night kek. I'm 26 and still haven't improved my social skills, money or strength. I'm fitting than 70% of people I meet though which I guess is good enough. I felt sad recently, my parents are aging and I want to help them, I'm not rich/have decent money like a lot of my grad school class mates so it falls on me, its tough.

~Im also trying to be a better christian, for a while I wanted to smash a woman, I got the opportunity to yesterday but turned it down for my faith. It felt like a win but now the temptation is back, and finding a good christian woman + waiting is much harder than drinking and having empty sex to temporarily fill that loneliness hole.

~I feel this wave of nothing being as good as it was, I think the last time things felt good were when I was 15 years old. Its been like this for a while and I think I know why, I haven't been following my goals


~I genuinely think I could have made millions or at least a decent amount by now, but I haven't and this is worse for me than others.

~My relationship with family is getting better, which is good, still little emotional expression but they are constant with me, which im lucky for, same with some friends, but I struggle to contact them. fok

~ I haven't connected with any of my classmates, barring one, its not deep or comfortable which takes me a while to do, but others have done it so effortlessly, is this tism ?