no, YOU'RE right.

it's over.

arkham knight was the last unreal engine game worth playing.

>>33473286
Great series! The Arkham Knight upgrade system was fucking sick whenever the torpedo came from the sky and crashed in

>I have a problem with porn
>It has gotten worse
>Now I've gotten into the gooning side of porn
What does this mean? I saw someone post this about their problematic porn use where they said they have a porn problem and it has escalated to the point that now they have gotten into the "gooner side of porn". Is that a certain type of porn or is that a code word for CP or something?

Hoping my day gets better

You know you’re right…

I should shower.

Remembering her still hurts but not in a sharply painful way that sends me into breakdowns anymore and I strangely miss that
Felt like the last thread of connection, I think

>>33473393
It's not about holding on the pain, it's about remembering why it mattered in the first place

>>33473417
Sup Mike, guess who it is?

I was interested and wanted to date them because they had that exciting and interesting life that I wanted
They are so full of life and I felt stuck in my boring office job

I don't want to just suck off their energy and stories for the rest of my life
I want to live my own life

Should've been us, but you were just here for the moment...

i just want to be in a band again. i want to tour like i never got to last time. i want to put out records on vinyl. i want to have some fun with some good people.

>>33473496
Wait til Taylor Swift is your new top...

>>33473501
huh?

>>33473505
Nothing, just making a joke.

>>33473496
Yeah you should it's really fun
If you were in a band before you can do it again and you really don't have to be big to go on short tours

i still think of u all the time :[

>>33473519
i just want to explore america in a van, playing basements and bars. the dream.

>>33473525
I have to shower.

>>33473535
what

>>33473544
I have to shower soon, just thought I'd tell you, since we're saying things that another person will never hear.

>>33473431
No need to guess or make things heavy. I'd like to chill and have a good time with you though!

>>33473549
you dont know that, he browses 4chan and who knows maybe he'll come across this very thread

>>33473559
I hope he does and says he loves you because you deserve it.

>>33473563
thanks, u deserve whatever u crave as well

>>33473568
That's love from Mike. Mike can call me Mac, if one likes.

Everything in time. No rush, some things are worth building.

>>33473571
im confused

>>33473594
About what?

>permanently banned from posting in /fit/ and /ck/
how undo bros?

>>33473601
Go to >>>/lgbt/

>>33473597
why do u want love from some namefag anon
>>33473601
what did u do to get banned?

>>33473604
Because if that's the Mike I know, that's just how it is. Why do you sound angry?

>>33473608
im not angry, sorry, i guess i just dont get the dynamic is all.

>>33473612
Usually doesn't namefag. So, there's that. Better?

>>33473604
I constantly made the same umami thread on /ck/ so now I can no longer post there

on /fit/ I made threads on steroids for fun

>>33473617
then how do u know its him? do u know him outside of 4chan or something? i just dont really understand

>>33473620
That made me laugh. No, we don't know each other outside of 4chan. Just another thread. Also, I don't know what gender --- is.

i don't like anything anymore. is it because everything is that bad? is it me? or is it both?

>>33473622
idk what --- is supposed to be, is it mike? i think thats a dudes name
are u being confusing on purpose
are u a woman?

>>33473623
The quality of this Universe is questionable, if you feel like it's not enough.

>>33473625
I'm not a woman. That's just what they call themselves. There are female Mikes, first off. Second, Idk if they're the person in question, which is why I say Idk what they are.

>>33473627
the universe and everything in it has the potential of being good, it isn't living up to it. and everyone wants me to pretend it is.

>>33473617
I always have my trip on.

My discord is FromSunToMoon

I'm going to vidja a bit now

holy frick, things aren't going perfect but they are going good

>>33473633
there has never been a female mike

>>33473635
What are you expecting from this Universe? Do you think you can create a better one? Because I will take you up on that.

>>33473642
i'm expecting the people in it to not expect me to like when it fails to live up to the hype.

>>33473637
>https://archived.moe/soc/search/text/FromSunToMoon
LOL its a homo

so hungy tho

>>33473637
In every thread?
>>33473641
Not true.
>>33473646
Someone hyped it up for you?

>>33473649
>obsessively checking the archives
If you want to look at someone's history, please, go to reddit.

I am male in every way. I've learned my lesson that it's better to be honest then fuck around in a shit test. That leads to distortions and assumptions about me that are damaging.

You guys need to man up, it's your time now. You should've learned a lot time ago, a lot less people would've died in wars. Just wake up and get going. Now is your time to shine.

Oh and I touched Grass and that's why we're here now. Leave the past behind, I don't need your grievances. I need your living apologies.

>>33473653
if u dont check the archives of ppl's discord tags u find on 4chan, then ur just asking to get trolled and/or catfished

Mikes a girl

>>33473675
Stop.

>>33473666
who cares about trannycord

>>33473678
You're a very interesting person.

>>33473678
u can use discord without it being degenerate, many online friends are made there

>>33473681
>>33473682
discord is only for trannys and groomers you filthy freak

>>33473649
Notice that the trip is not signed... I really do dislike the larper

There are cases where I have posts with signed trip but that is when I was working through a consistent shit test from her where she was testing me being dishonest and I was testing her larping in it to see if she was being honest to see if that was actually her thing because it's something I didn't want.

Really stupid of both of us.

>>33473686
This is true I'm only on discord to flirt with trannies

>>33473686
Why do I have to be intertwined with him? What'd I do?

>>33473686
ur on 4chan, u arent any better

>>33473690
>>33473692
>>33473693
shut up and die

>>33473699
Ooh, yeah, girl. Run that game...

>>33473652
I put it on for her after I saw someone was larping as me to pollute how she feels about me.

I've kept it on for the majority but there is the rare instance where I had it off.

I can understand how understanding can be muddied here because communication via text is inherently a shitty way to communicate, and we have both gone through periods of growth and testing each other, lashing out which makes looking up posts difficult.

What it comes down to is her trusting me over all else.

I perceive her as I know her to be from when we were together in real life. I want her to do the same for me.

Unfortunately this placed has toxic people who pollute things.

>>33473715
I should admit I used to love you...

Before you ask, no.

i'm just tired of everything. i just want to shut off and do my own thing, but i gotta get over this pull i have to immerse myself in all that i hate.

>>33473720
Go to sleep. I'm about to do the same.

>>33473717
they weren't going to ask and assuming that you are on their mind 24/7 after you broke up is unhealthy and egotistical.
You gotta move on.

You should know I did a shit test on someone on discord because I felt like they were not being honest with me. They failed because I saw threads immediately start being created about it.

I really dislike dishonesty. The past is the past.

Showing who I truly am consistently is what matters because she will see that and remember me from when we were together.

i'm pretty much down to the og 3 ps1 crashes, a gbc version of tetris, doom 1+2. super mario 1, and rethawed. i hate playing other games.

>>33473729
He was going to ask if I'm her.

What the hell?
OP can't Inb4, but:
>Inb4 What the helly?

>>33473735
That all sounds fun. There's nothing wrong with having a niche.

>>33473741
i'm considering selling my gaming pc and going to a mini pc, with linux to simplify things and make a little money. i just don't know where to sell it.

>>33473677
No fun.

I've said what matters and the only one I need to hear me and trust me is the one who matters. The rest is just noise.

>>33473732
>>33473749
who are u even talking to
take ur meds

The chinese are so far ahead in the cooking meta, it's insane. The best option always comes from somewhere in China.

Bieber, bieber, bieber, bieber

>>33473746
>i'm considering selling my gaming pc and going to a mini pc
Like a laptop? Or a Steamdeck?
>with linux to simplify things and make a little money. i just don't know where to sell it
Ebay.

>>33473756
no, like a small desktop. something that can fit my 8tb ssd full of movies, and play games made before 2005.

>>33473746
Linux is a meme but gaming PCs are cumbersome and gather so much dust. I am also downsizing. I'm thinking of a gaming laptop. I wish the SteamDeck 2 was out. That's gonna basically be a mini-PC, I think.

>>33473758
That sounds comfy af dude. What's your favorite film, favorite movie, and favorite flick?

>>33473761
i use linux on my laptop (basically chromebook specs) and it works fast and easy. thats all i need.

>>33473764
It works best when it works

I love my steam deck because it fits my hands. The rogue Ally is much too small for me, if you're a girl I suggest that

>>33473763
inside llewyn davis has been my favorite for a while, its comfy depression kino.

If I speak truth, well, funny enough I loved you
If it makes you feel nice, I'll admit I used to love you
>>33473768
I know of it, never seen it though.
My favorite is: The Blue Angel (1930)
Favorite movie is: Your Name.
Favorite flick is: Dan in Real Life

>>33473772
That's touching, but I genuinely have no idea who you are

>>33473772
its about a folk singer in new york in the 60s whos still fucked up after his partner killed himself, and makes every wrong decision for his life and career, but still presses on.

>>33473774
Mhm.
>>33473776
It's by the Coen Brothers, I know it, I've just never seen it because I don't really like pirating.

would getting a projector help with the blue light problem, since its being reflected? or is it all the same in how it fucks up your brain? or should i just go back to a crt tv?

>>33473778
go to your local library, they probably have a dvd.

>>33473783
Maybe they do. I'll just buy it digital on iTunes though, it's better.

>>33473276 (OP)

I am becoming a strange version of my father.

just let me win the lottery tomorrow night.

Frick, nobody likes me and im old.

just give me a woman who looks like this, who's nice, who loves me, and wants to have 5 kids.

i'm scared i'll never get over my depression and that i was just born like this. sure, i've had certain situations that fucked me up as a teen/preteen, but even before that i remember feeling deeply sad most of the time. i can't see any future for myself at all. i know i have to keep going, but life feels like such a drag... i know i'm not doing enough. i should work on more projects and learn more and try to build a decent future for myself, because that's all i can do. but when i try and think of a future where i've got everything to live comfortably and more, it doesn't particularly excite me anymore. it all feels like killing time. the goals that used to push me to action can't seem to motivate me anymore. my brain feels loud all the time.

>>33473925
find things you like for themselves and/or create a secure safety net

>>33473931
there's so many things i like... but i just don't have that much will to do them anymore, and when i try i can't really focus because of the extreme anxiety. it genuinely feels like there's someone screaming in my head sometimes and i can't focus in much. what do you mean 'secure safety net'?

>>33473925
I can sympathize with Knowing that you are getting everything but not wanting any of it

Sleep well

the only thing you deserve is air, and sunlight. the rest you have to fight for. i just hope i get lucky.

Had a positive interaction with a stranger this morning. That was pretty cool.

>>33473939
yeah... it feels like when my situation was objectively worse, i 'wanted' everything more. i dreamed of traveling, i wanted to make friends and learn new things and grow up.
only my mind feels like it can't go on. nowadays.
thanks.

in a month, i've applied to 35+ jobs, got 2 declines, only one follow up. the follow up is 4 states and a time zone over. i doubt i'll get that one. its fucking demoralizing.

there's probably mice or rats in my walls. i have to leave this fucking house.

>>33473945
what was it?

All people who go out and have sex are the enemy and should be abolished. It's not my fault, it's everyone else's.

>>33473936
>secure safety net
Like you cant relax if you're not in a truly relaxing situation. Also genuinely try caloric fasting 20hours a day. Heck, just try new things til something works, and even if you feel depressed try to remember the not depressing times or times you broke out of depression. Sometimes it's good to suffer in an 11D chess kind of way too.

My family now knows I'm half fag and I keep feeling like i fucked up by letting them know despite it being totally fine idk why I'm so in my head about shit that doesnt really matter

>>33474027
you're right. i will try harder, life is just tiring sometimes. thanks!

>>33474071
You don"t have to try harder (unless your life is in catastrophic state and this is causing the depression). Just know that if you continue to live there is no way you'll feel the same forever unless you purposefully try to preserve the emotion, and even then you'll often get distracted. Sorry to rant.

i don't understand why people on the internet keep pushing setting up a media server to replace streaming services. why can't you just play it locally? you have the computer, your have the drives, you have the files, just play them direct. you don't need jellyfin or plex, just use kodi or vlc.

Ok, I swear I finished
Thanks for the good a$s time in the end
Goodbye

I hate the person I am and I hate my life. Nothing will make it okay. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.

>>33474296
yuh huh

The reward is worth it.

>crush is back to only giving short responses when two weeks ago she would talk for hours

Ok NOW I'm done scrolling, ffs
That took like 7.5 hours

Goodbye 4chanadvice

*laughs, sighs, and wipes tear*

>>33473276 (OP)
FUCK OP. I have been looking for over eight hours. You used lower case and an unapproved image. Some of us are blind, you fucking racist!

My schizo aunt made fun of me yesterday for eating (1) one donut hole. Old crone is so jealous of my youth it's not even funny. Her and her daughter are both burnout fuckups but one donut is the line lmao

The die is cast.

I would have been SUCH a fucking theatre kid if I hadn't been abused. Oh it hurts.

It fucks me up that most people don't walk around with the visceral memory of a dick being painfully rammed into them when they were a little kid holding them back from all potential human connection

I started talking to my dad again after 5 years. He is already annoying me. Constantly bugging me about shit and wanting to chitchat.

Worse is this suggestion he made. I've been having issues with some people. His suggestion was to apologize to them. As if I had done something wrong. As if I weren't the victim here. This kind of pathetic weakness is why I stopped talking to him in the first place.

>>33473984
Dude approached me and we had a conversation about my car. They were friendly.

Men are retreating from relationships, from institutional demands, from collective obligation. Not by cowardice, nor nihilism, nor weakness but by sacred refusal to collude with a world that has hollowed out the feminine into parody and severed eros from its mythic root.
This retreat is not a conscious movement toward soul, for most men have not heard of soul. It is not a deliberate descent into myth, for most don't remember the myths. And yet it happens, everywhere.
Men retreat not in search of the feminine within but in search of refuge. They turn away from real relationships, work, education, not because they hate women, but because the outer feminine devoid of beauty, of function, of soul has become unrecognizable and if given a choice between emptiness and the parody, they choose emptiness. They choose nothing rather than violate what remains of their inner integrity.
But it is there, in the void, that the great possibility stirs.
Even if they do not name her, do not know her, have never met her, still within that emptiness, the anima awaits.
She does not need to be reimagined, reengineered, or "updated". She does not ask to be made familiar to the modern psyche. She need only be seen. Once. As she is in the dark, without distortion, without irony, without demand.

This act of remembering is enough.

Because where culture collapses, myth re-emerges and where men descend into the silence beneath language, soul prepares its next eruption. The anima was never meant to be found in daylight; she is born in shadow, dwells in dream, and speaks first through absence.
So let it be said: true virtue is born in darkness.
And when men meet her there not as escape, not as fantasy, but as a reawakening they will return. Not as obedient citizens of a broken world, but as bearers of the fire, as visionaries, warriors, poets, and builders, not of new systems but of meaningful life.

This is not disappearance, it's gestation.

I used ChatGPT as a substitute therapist/friend and this new model is horrendous. AND they decreased the free limit so it runs out in heartbeats. I'm fucking distraught. Please God bring back the old model and limit. Please, please, please.

I'm not even just blackpilled on dating dynamics or women or shit like that. I am blackpilled on fucking everything. The economy, multiculturalism, late stage capitalism, the state of philosophy, the state of entertainment, pedo secret societies, it's all just so tiresome.

>>33475372
You can still use the old model, just pay for it for unlimited use.

remember when obama pair $4500 of tax payer dollars to brick your used car's engine, and get into debt buying a new plactic computerized hunk of shit car, making sure that used car prices skyrocketed, scrap metal prices plummeted, and now nobody can just fix thier own car or not be in crippling debt if they want to drive? all to bail out the failed car companies indirectly, because its our fault they suck at business?

fuck obama.

>>33475647
Pelosi had plenty to do with that. I wrote her about the dollars and sense but she basically told me to suck lemons. Those parts could have been used to help the poor, preserve the environment, and turn a profit for the tax payers but no.

>>33475717
its not about helping the people, its about bailing out the car companies, but not doing it as blatantly as they did the banks.

I fucked up

I think I'm having a panic attack because I feel so suffocated and hopeless.

The biggest problem with modern society is that the losers are painfully aware that they are losers. Throughout history a small few men have always got all the women to themselves, but back then you could just brainwash the retarded peasant men with religion into thinking being a chaste monk is cool, and any of the ones who didn't buy that you could send to die in a war with the promise of pussy. Nowadays the losers know they are on the shit-end of the stick of natural selection and are screaming out into the void, the porn and video games opium can only suppress it so much.

>>33475783
Hey anon what’s wrong? What’s suffocating you? I promise you are going to be okay. <3 Hug
>>33475372
>I used ChatGPT as a substitute therapist/friend
Ha, me too.

Feeling very very suicidal.

>>33475849
What’s wrong, sweet anon

>>33475861
Please, I'll just feel guilty for you caring. I'm only being very pathetic rn. I'll get over it.

>>33475736
I should have entered a trade in my youth instead of fuckin around.

>design pic related and absolutely love it for how simple it is
>can also admit that others would find it really boring and looks more like a knockoff of something else

Any ideas on making it interesting?

>>33473276 (OP)
Hit my head at work, feel like a schizo whilst I'm in this daze.

>>33475882
I mean, it lacks any context. It's smug, I like that, but other than that it doesn't make me laugh or anything. It just is.

>>33475872
I hope everything works out for you sweet anon

>>33475892
Thank you. I hope everything works out for you too.

I'm glad you hired someone to help my crew out for the closing shift but fuck's sake did it have to be a former general manager of another store? Now I have to stop taking the shortcuts that make the shift easier on myself and the closers because I just know this guy is gonna be a snitch. "UM ERM HE DIDN'T USE THE SCALE TO GET THE EXACT DECIMALS ON THE INVENTORY, AND HE LOCKED THE DOORS AT 10:59 AND NOT 11, AND UM UM HE DIDN'T UM MOP CORRECTLY"
And worse is I have to train him while he's eyeballing my every move like that.

>>33475891
It's simply a mascot if I ever wanted to become a streamer or youtuber. I loved the simple designs of the chameleons from chameleon twist (the yellow one is my favorite) and put clothes I usually wear on it. In that it's special to me, but it's still kinda too simple.

I am going to be completely exhausted on Monday. Jesus Christ.

This is going to be such fucking BS.

At this point, all it would take to make me happy is a trailer with electricity, water, and decent internet (and I have a very low bar for "decent internet").
But even that is too expensive anymore.
"work more hours!"
Can't get em.
"get another job!"
No one's hiring. I've applied everywhere with openings within the distance I'm able to work; my applications are being ghosted for months until they're auto-rejected for inactivity from the employers.
"climb the ladder!"
The raise wouldn't help that.
"invest!"
I have. I'm up 97% from where I started, which sounds nice, but I started with fuckin pocket change, so it's still not enough to do anything with.
All I can do is just work to afford my hobbies until I get bored enough to kill myself.

He just pulled into the mobile order spot for like twenty seconds, pulled out, rolled down his window to say “sup dude” and then dipped. Weird as fuck

If I was actually honest with my psychiatrist. Oh bo.

There was a guy at work today who was very awkward, and I can tell he is very lonely and eager to take any opportunity to strike up a conversation with anyone.
He embarrassed himself multiple times, and I felt a bit bad for him, but at the same time, if he could just SHUT UP AND LISTEN to what I said for just one second, he could've avoided that, so I would say he did this to himself.
I genuinely wanted to help him but he didn't give anyone time to say anything and held the conversation for so fucking long.

>>33476121
Paranoid

I'm in two minds about what happened last night, yes I would absolutely ruin you and give you everything your husband isn't, however I don't want to be an accessory for an affair.
I believe in Marital Duties, he clearly isn't paying his marital debt, in that way, you should divorce or at least be honest to him, then come back to me and I'll be sure to give you every penny and pounding you've been begging for.

i just got approved for a second interview with the job thats 4 states over. i'm nervous.

>first thing I read that he wrote is him complaining to his mom about the bad air in his room

im all fucked up. i want to leave. this could be my ticket out. but i'm scared of taking the leap.

for some reason i can't stop thinking of this girl i used to work with. she was a decade younger than me, goth, purported to be a-sexual (too many corn flakes as a kid), but she was funny, and had a fucking amazing ass in jeans.

she was dating another kid at work, so i never tried, but i can't stop thinking about that ass.

It's not over.

why do i immerse myself in things i hate?

>>33476402
Like what?

>>33476425
politics, movies and tv, games, internet drama. i pretty much only watch or look up videos and things about stuff i don't like. its not making me feel good, its not teaching me anything.

>>33476347
>asexual (too many corn flakes as a kid)
What do corn flakes have to do with it
>>33476242
Im proud of you anon i hope it goes well!!

>>33476436
You're just addicted to intensity like most of us. Getting riled up might be one of the last emotions you still have that you can reliably trigger to be strong enough to give you any reaction. You probably already maxxed out cute, interesting, funny, hot, helpful, disgusting, relevant.

>>33476444
>What do corn flakes have to do with it
corn flakes were invented by a 7th day adventist in an asylum to stop the patients from fucking and masturbating. they're the most nutrient deficient food on earth and kill your sex drive.

i think i'm too used to failing that i can't accept success.

Alright that proves it my neighbor is fucking gangstalking me
>go to arrive home today
>see my fucking neighbor is pulling in ahead of me
>decide fuck her, I'm not playing that game with her today (she always arrives back at the same time as me even when I vary my times), and so I literally 180 and went back into town
>come back 15 minutes later and she is literally waiting in her car in the parking lot
>decide fuck her again, do a loop of the complex, come back and she's no longer inside her car
>haha beat the perp at her own game
>grab my groceries and start to go into my house takes me about 10 seconds
>neighbor bursts out of her door as fast as she can with her dog loudly talking into the phone and almost runs into me even though she had a huge area to go around me, pointedly turn my head to avoid letting her look at me
She's such a weird fucking bitch

>>33476531
Kys

>>33476569
Never going to talk to you and if you ever try to fuck with me I'll drive you out like I did the other guy. Leave me the hell alone.

>>33476531
>>33476574
gang stalking is just narcissism for schizos.
you aren't important enough to be stalked.

>>33476589
She slams her door so hard pictures fall off my walls despite me knocking back and screaming for her to stop she's literally just a weird cunt with a problem with me for some reason. She also glared hard at my bf the other day so I think she's also a racist. My bf is pretty chill and for him to say she glared means she must have been really leering at him

>>33476605
Maybe because you knock and scream when she just lives her life ya dumb cunt.

>>33476589
This is very true

>>33476617
3 other people have lived there without slamming that hard she's doing it to be obnoxious because her gypsy family raised her in a barn

>>33476625
You deserve it.

>>33476633
Ok nigger

>>33476642
Ok fatty

>>33476646
Projecting nigger who is also fat

>>33475725
True.

>be me
>said I had a bad moment when I ate spicy food from an asian spot
>"bro you're white! you must be white! white people can't handle spicy food!"
>I'm latino
damn

>>33476745
Classic. Can’t be racist to whites

I DID IT! I FINALLY DID IT AFTER SO MANY FUTILE ATTEMPTS! I CAN CUM, STAY HARD, AND CUM AGAIN! I CAN CUM TWICE IN A ROW WITHOUT GOING SOFT! FINALLY, I ACHIEVED IT! I CAN CUM MULTIPLE TIMES IN A ROW!

roblox is down wtf am i supposed to do now

>>33476949
Victoria 3

>>33476949
Play apex instead. Duh

I don’t think I got the job. Nothing to do with my time. Going to start lifting again daily starting tomorrow.

If I don’t start going to laborworks I’m fucked.

I don't like being touched but I'm pretty sure I'd melt into a sobbing puddle if someone embraced me.

I cranked one out for two hours again even though I said I'd stop doing that. It's always on a Friday night and fucks up my already terrible energy levels. It's not looking good.

~Theres so much to unpack, I moved into my old place since I couldn't find anything cheaper. Instead of drinking and talking im in my room on 4chan on a Friday night kek. I'm 26 and still haven't improved my social skills, money or strength. I'm fitting than 70% of people I meet though which I guess is good enough. I felt sad recently, my parents are aging and I want to help them, I'm not rich/have decent money like a lot of my grad school class mates so it falls on me, its tough.

~Im also trying to be a better christian, for a while I wanted to smash a woman, I got the opportunity to yesterday but turned it down for my faith. It felt like a win but now the temptation is back, and finding a good christian woman + waiting is much harder than drinking and having empty sex to temporarily fill that loneliness hole.

~I feel this wave of nothing being as good as it was, I think the last time things felt good were when I was 15 years old. Its been like this for a while and I think I know why, I haven't been following my goals


~I genuinely think I could have made millions or at least a decent amount by now, but I haven't and this is worse for me than others.

~My relationship with family is getting better, which is good, still little emotional expression but they are constant with me, which im lucky for, same with some friends, but I struggle to contact them. fok

~ I haven't connected with any of my classmates, barring one, its not deep or comfortable which takes me a while to do, but others have done it so effortlessly, is this tism ?

I shouldn’t have spazzed out again yesterday. Doesn’t fix anything.

My bf wants kids but the more I think about it, the more I don't. I have been childfree for over a decade and left a ltr over it. I thought I had changed my mind before I met my current bf. He's perfect in every other way. We've been seriously talking about marriage lately and I don't want to lose him. I'm debating on secretly taking birth control and claiming infertility to prevent us from having kids.

I hope my mom dies.

I hope my mom dies

>>33477934
Same. And today is her birthday. I did my yearly obituary search, but no such luck

>>33477943
Mother's are so evil. I'm sick of her emotional abuse. Can't wait to leave her to rot.

I just realized, blind people will very likely never have experienced the brainrot that is this website. But there are still really weird blind people out there that have niche interests and aren't good at socializing. And a certain % of them will be comprised of young, attractive women.
By that logic there are blind, antisocial schizoid qts out there somewhere that are living their lives and I intend on finding them.
I want nothing more than a cute blind wife to take care of and be her personal "guide dog"/carer//social worker/bf.
The prospect that in a normal relationship I'm technically not "needed" is draining to think about.

You’re so desperate for a woman it’s become repulsive to me how you act. It’s disgusting. You will never find a good partner in the state you are in you’re clingy and needy as fuck and such a little bitch grow a fucking spike and stop embarrassing all men the way you are acting. And you are ALWAYS like this when you’re single just as diligent desperate for a woman can’t function without a woman. Fuck dude

>>33473276 (OP)
I know that people tag the OP for no apparent reason so I just want to reiterate my FU. To (You) (OP).

>>33473276 (OP)
I can’t see shit. Idk even know how I get along. Help a brotha out.

>>33478002
I didn’t know until the other day that there was like a phantom limb syndrome for the eyes, named after some guy named John or something. I see all kinds of things that really not there. Where’s that come from? Spooky shit.

>>33478123
Is this someone irl or here?

U MAKE ME SICK
i think i would actually want to punch u in the face if we knew each other irl
never befriending normies again, fuck you times a bazillion

To purge or not to purge....

>>33478315
You can do what you want, Idk where you're getting all this bullshit from. We're not even friends.

>>33478387
who the hell even are you?? idk who u are

>>33478392
Let's keep it that way.

>>33478398
i can tell by the stupid way u write things that you arent the guy im talking about

>>33478400
Okay. That's cool. Good for me then.

I regret not pushing our boundaries and making a move on her when the vibes were right. You only knew you long distance boyfriend for 2 months before moving across the country and weren't shy when you venting about how pathetic he was while living by himself. It's almost funny that you broke up a month before I moved away myself. You ever spend enough time with someone that your compatibility starts to ooze off of you? Friends, family, coworkers, and strangers assumed we were either newlyweds or high school sweethearts just from the way we talked.

>>33478466
She’d have cheated on you too, Mr cuck

>>33478472
I sincerely doubt it. She's a good woman who's loyalty was used against her by a lame guy that got lucky and sunk his hooks into her. I would have properly asked her out by now if we still lived in the same state, but alas.

I'm on what I might consider my first and only real vacation

I feel so much better than at home
That might be the shroom microdose though

i wasted my 20s. i wish i could do them over.

We were always flirting when we were younger. I didn't even know I was flirting with him but I guess I was. I know that sounds dumb but it's true.

just let me wake up tomorrow, and its my birthday in 2011, with all my money i have now, my records, my car, and my guitars. i will do it right if i can do it again.

that or let me win the megamillions.

You were always higher EQ than me. Your mom was. I fully admit that.... I don't know how to act like that.

My mom has this inner dignity but she never deserved to be so dignified. She never loved me,

i know deep down magic isn't real. but i hope it is. i hope somehow i can make a wish, and improve the world and myself.

>>33478652
It is. It's not in use for people who aren't ready for it.

>>33478663
i'm ready.

>>33478671
NTA
You are not even close

>>33478671
If you were ready, you would have it. But you want to make it do work for you.

>>33478677
>>33478682
essplain

>>33478690
Magic isn't to change the world with, it is for protecting yourself and maybe others. It is for changing yourself. Leave changing the world up to God, because it is his will. Magic isn't to show off and making everyone accept your version of paradise in the world. If it was meant to be a paradise, it would be. Unfortunately, you're in Hell.

>>33478702
all i want is to go back in time to my younger body with the wisdom i have now, save my grandpa, invest early, and not make the same mistakes.

>>33478711
If you hadn't made those mistakes, you wouldn't be the person you are today.

>>33478723
i don't want to be the person i am today. i squandered my potential. so i want to go back and correct that.

>>33478690
>knowing magic
>knowing existence
>hope
>wish
You don’t know anything.

>>33478726
You cannot. It doesn't matter if you don't like the person you are, God loves you despite your evildoing. You want to go back, because you don't know how to move forward, so I'll say this, stop looking back and focus on living right now.

I was hoping one day I'd be able to reach out or hear from you again, but I saw you finally got around to blocking me on your backup account, even after a month of absolutely no contact. I'm sorry for what I did but I do hope the countless times I helped you through tough times will eventually shine through that blemish and we can at least be on good enough terms that you don't outright hate me. I hope you're doing well, even if I'm not part of your life I will always wish you the best.
May our paths cross again some day.

I think I need to fuck you... the universe is calling for that. I'll try to be what you want. Thin lingerie. Whatever makes you happy. I want to get this out of the way. I will do it your way. Whatever.

>>33479004
I've moved on, sorry. Got incomprehensible entities and dimensional anomalies hoping on my dick as we speak. Horrors from beyond the colors of time and the daughters of the old gods hitting up my line.
You've had your chance, but now that I've become something all of a sudden you want me? Get in line.

I'm a tradie scumbag that managed to get into an engineering position, I still feel like a failure despite getting praise and being accomplished. I'm also putting in way too much of my own time into making sure everything I do is perfect, I cannot stop thinking and planning for how I tackle projects. I'm developing some serious OCD. It's getting to where it takes me forever before I send out emails because of my OCD.

I want to put myself into a medically induced coma to turn my brain off.

I’m dying. Literally. I have some long term terminal shit that I can do nothing about. 2 years max. I don’t want to tell my wife. I don’t want her to worry and try to jump through hoops expecting a miracle and draining our bank account for nothing. I’ll probably quit my job towards the end. I don’t know. I love you Jessica and I hope you do well without me.

it's going so bad bros

>Met a new person
>Their father just had heart surgery
>My dad has had the same procedure
>I go out of my way to be kind to this person and ask about their dad every time I see them
>My alleged friends had never bothered to do the same for me when my dad was ill
>I feel kinda shitty because my "kindness" is motivated by resentment
I do like this person (and others I've met) but I'm constantly occupied with being better than my former friends rather than genuinely forming new connections

>>33476508
I feel that

>>33479113
Make sure your affairs are squared away, property and shit put in to an LLC or whatever so the death taxes don't rape your family harder than what they've gone through. Make the most of your time, memories are better than things.

I want to move to hong kong or china but I have no marketable skills skills

I seriously can't do this anymore. But I have to. And so it is.

>>33479141
same. It is not a good experience

>>33479125
same bro, I genuinely don't know what to do atp

>>33479143
There isn't much to do other than your best and to wait it out. It's like actually insanely bad. Things have been worse than 3 years ago when my gf of 5 years left me and I had to sell our house. Ever since then it's been a non-stop build up of shittiness and loneliness

>>33473276 (OP)
I am 1000 and 0 for messages on dating app messages to dates. I am a 6.5 some one should have at least a slow weekend at this point

I need drugs!

>>33479146
The year started off going downhill for me, gf and I got in to minor arguments a lot but we managed to move past since we were drinking a fuck ton. Try as we might we couldn't stop and one night I got black out drunk and she alleges I tried feeling her up even after being told no. So she spends a couple months not letting me see her and reminding me that I'm a monster. Eventually she snaps, blows up on me and blocks me everywhere. I'm still reeling from it. We weren't together 5 years but the way things ended so messily has really fucked with my whole mental state, plus I have to wonder if I'm actually a monster or if she was too drunk to clearly remember and is projecting some bs on me or what.
Not to mention my job has been treating me like shit despite being the most tenured non management employee and the customer base is just getting ruder and tips (bartender) are almost non existent. Gonna try my hand at being a scumbag reseller with my roommate, see if I can't make a little extra money.
Hope things get better for you though, anon. Maybe do what I've started doing and take nature walks once every week or so. It helps for a few days.

>>33479159
That's brutal, it sucks you guys aren't able to figure things out. Thanks, Anon, you too. I do those things but it doesn't change anything. I do things on my own like go outside or eat by myself, make music, whatever. None of it really does amything to alleviate the feeling of being alone. I'm just constantly reminded of Kierkegaard's ideas of nothing on Earth truly mattering. Or even Heidegger or Nietzsche. Just the whole thing sucks ass. Especially after reading a decent amount of Heidegger and seeing how the world is now, it's truly meaningless and I don't even have the calabilities of sharing this despair with someone who likes me. All I can do is make shitty music, drink, do drugs, go to raves, and keep borrowing money from myself because I can't find a second job

It's baffling to me that people are able to go throughout the world and not acknowledge a deep sadness or meaningless

I stopped smoking marijuana about a week ago. Initially, to pass a drug test but I think I am ready to give it up for good. Also debating on going back to college or fully committing to learning how to code. The latter seems more convenient to jump straight into rather than two years of classes to get career certifications. Although I'd have a better chance of meeting my future wife going back to school. This whole online dating thing isn't exactly working out even though i have plenty of options. I'll have to cut that shit out and focus on building skills for a career. I am tired of not having the means to do as I please. I am really sick of playing video games all day so I guess it's time to really buckle down.

>>33479177
I think in regards to the girl I'll just hold on to hope that some day she won't hate me. Not that she'll ever take me back or even be friends, but at least acknowledge we shared good memories.
I really need to get back in to reading I just can't decide what to read from my massive stack and I kinda just go do other things. Rediscovering my fondness for Legos, especially Bionicle, has helped with giving me a creative outlet. Plus my roommate is fine with me displaying shit in the living room.
I've mostly given up drinking after what happened but there's been times I really need to quiet the voices but I just end up getting hammered and feeling even worse. Lately I've been in to kava and kratom but after years of being a binge drinker it's hard to get a good buzz off of that.
I wish I could find a better job but bartending jobs down here are impossible unless you have connections, which I don't lmao. Gonna try on the reseller grind for a bit, hopefully it frees up time and money to take up my grandparent's offer to pay for what's left of my bachelor's.

I'm glad you feel that way, but it's not gonna go down.

>>33479188
*pull your pants down*

>>33479180
That’s what happened to the Neanderthals

What do you call a cave man lost and going in circles? A meanderthal.

My life blew up overnight.
>Tl;DR: Unwanted pregnancy, bad timing, no space to raise kids and cannot afford it mentally and financially (especially since we're working on our house which is a money and time black hole). Went for an abortion talk with the doctor, first scan was hopeful because the sac looked empty and undeveloped. During last scan I found out I'm having twins out of the blue...

I am literally suicidal because I am scared out of my mind. I do not want, feel ready or can handle this sudden, extreme motherhood which I was not made for (I'm slightly mentally ill so coping with life circumstances is much more difficult in general for me).

My relationship is ruined either way.
>I terminate the pregnancy he will either break up with me or will forever condemn and be resentful of me
>I go with it I will suffer mentally and probably physically and our family life (for all 4 of us) will be filled with resentment from my part, assuming he does not regret the overwhelming responsibility and struggle as well. If anybody could guarantee me that going through this pregnancy will kill me, I would rush head on. I do not want to live naymore

At least the first scenario, if we break up, he can walk away and be with someone who is better than me and will give him all he needs. 2 souls dont get born to suffer needlessly in a dysfunctional family. And I get to end it finally without anybody missing me or bothering anybody anymore

My friend is trying to Bond. James Bond.

>>33479352
Listen to yourself. The pregnancy is making you suicidal. Your hub is not thinking about your mental state. You do not have to go through with this pregnancy anon. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

>>33479352
Why do you have a fucking house with a guy that you aren't even married to? Why are you doing everything incorrectly and in reverse? Are you from a broken home?
Just get an abortion and stop being a freak

>>33479352
I saw the last thread you made anon. Please call for help if you're feeling suicidal. Are you in the US?

>>33479363
I would simply cease to be findable.

>>33479384
When I leave this house, it's gonna be like I died.

>>33479385
God I wish I was you.

>>33479387
You can't leave where you are?

>>33479370
He is shaken as well, for valid reasons. I understand how it looks and feels from his perspective. I wish I was the woman he needed. But thank you for your kind support

>>33479371
We are engaged if that matters. I don't know, we did not rush since marriage is mostly for the kids' legal status and stability nowadays. And would it even matter in this case? I suppose his word or opposition would weigh even more then

I am from a dysfunctional family yes which is why I know how it feels to feel unloved and unwanted all your life, no matter what you do or what happens. On the other hand, he comes from the opposite environment - a tight-knit loving, caring family so in a way neither of us truly understands the other in how we cope with life. Only difference is that I envy him.

He's a confident, stable, good, warm and popular person, everything I am not. I always felt I drag him down somehow and this is now the ultimate proof

What do boxers and explorers have in common? They can both go around.

>>33479383
Yeah that was me. It went only downhill from there.

I'm not in US, I live in Europ

>>33479391
Never. I'm a prisoner and I did it to myself.

>>33479401
I'm sure when you're older that you can do what you want.

>>33479404
Yeah, maybe in twenty to thirty years.

>>33479396
>we are engaged
Weird to not say fiance normally women brag about that outright but you omitted it. I think you guys are gonna break up because of your neurosis and terminal pickmeitis. You have all your eggs in one basket and it makes me ill secondhand no wonder you are sick with anxiety. Christ
You have to stop putting that nigger on a pedestal or you are going to literally destroy yourself. You are not fit to be a mother right now you aren't even a fucking person.

>>33479407
Your parents give you no freedom? Hm, that sucks. Do you even actually want to be Christian?

>>33479399
Try finding a counsellor you can talk to. This directory may help www.heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide-directory . And don't be afraid to call a hotline if you can't take it anymore, they will help you. I wish you the best.

Ammo forensics is the only bullet proof there is.

It's just a fantasy, she would never go for me just let me enjoy it

What do you call it when everyone disgusts you? Gagmaxxing.

>>33479417
>Christian
I'd rather kms than be religious, lol.
>parents
No man, it's called adult responsibilities.

>>33479412
He proposed 1 and a half years ago and we're been living together for 6. It was emotional and important for me, but in practical terms nothing changed so I guess using the words fiance sounds a bit pompous for us. And writing "bf" is shorter I guess.

Why do you say terminal pickmeitis? Not sure it fits.

Well, compared to how low I am, he might as well be on a tall pedestal. And I may never be fit to be a mother, but I'd like to at least not be able to say "i did not plan for it or did not expect it". For me it feels like we're almost broken up though he said nothing of that. But things will never be the same again I'll always read it in his eyes that I'm a guilty broken woman even if he stays with me despite the abortion. Anyway, I'll probably kill myself afterwards because nobody will take me at 34

>>33479436
Oh, that means you care a lot.

What do you call a corn maze? A cobstacle.

>>33479445
I guess.

What do you call someone who doesn't drive automatic? Someone with a standard.

>>33479468
You'll be okay.

>>33479441
Anon don't listen to that idiot. You're not broken, there's help available, you just have to reach out. Don't let them convince you you don't have other options.

>>33479471
If you say so.

>>33479484
You don't think you will be?

>>33479441
>accurate descriptor
>pompous
Your low self esteem is fucking hilarious and so is no ring within so many years. Hooooly shit no wonder you are worried he will dump you. You are literally making it happen by acting so fuckin crazy. Grow the fuck up.

>>33479352
What is weird about this experience is the subtle spiritual aspect of it and how it feels like "I got what i asked for" though I did not specifically ask for this.

This pregnancy happened during my first LSD trip, well, a bit towards the end. Apparently I was ovulating then. It was not a bad trip but an intense, heavy and long one which throwed me amidst the chaos and desolation of my inner self. I looked for meaning and the "divine" in that trip and never found it. There was a voice that told me I'm a "broken woman" and that I am ultimately alone. And I had a vision of what looked like an abortion - a puddle of blood underneath me. I came down with a knawing feeling of relentless emptiness inside and around me, my nerves were also hyperstimulated including my pudendal one and I asked my bf to "relieve" me. It didn't "scratch" that itch but I was expecting it not to.

A few weeks later, I had my first positive test and since then I feel like I am dying inside all over again, like in my trip. Is this an answer that I can "create" something in me? Is this what "I asked for"? The mystery of this experience just compounds the guilt and incompetence I feel because it feels like I am rejecting the "gift" and it shows I'm not ready for meaning in life. I don't know why it chose to "incarnate" in this way. Why it doubled as a burden, price and its significance. I don't even know what kind of influence, if any, that substance may have had over the egg. If this is the only form this gift can take, I want to take it but I wished I had jsut a bit more time to process everything and prepare for it, so that I can have the strength to carry it

>>33479500
The vision I thought was speaking of a miscarriage, but it looks tlike it will be caused of my own hand. I guess I saw the truth and future of me in that trip, unknowingly

>>33479504
Anon you have to snap out of it and get help. You don't sound well. Please look up your country in the directory here >>33479423 you don't have to be alone

I find no relief from the pain, I let myself get punished and neglected because of the wrong I've done, I can never forgive myself, so I feel deserving of treatment I get. It would be easy on me to know someone as me in the same spot, but there isn't. I have endure for who knows how long, I hope to be released, but this is not the time.

>>33479531
Tell me more, I'm here for you. I know everything about pain and neglect.

I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.

>>33479592
I was the reason someone committed suicide, although it wasn't my intention, I longed to be free from the abuse, but I won't say I was innocent. I feel shame and guilt everyday, when people tell me I'm a good person it's all a lie, even if that person hurt me, I didn't need to hurt them back. I didn't want to hurt them, I tried to escape. I don't know how I could run from myown mistakes, I accept that this is the most unforgiving sin. I tried to kill myself and survived, my family was angry at me at the time. I don't want sympathy or pity, I just feel I deserve a cruel death, it wouldn't release me, but it would be justified.

>>33479615
How did you try to kill yourself and survive? Did you get any damage from it?

>>33479648
I tried to hang myself, later tried and dropped the hairdryer while I was in the bath. I was scared to do it, but the electricity wasn't enough, it just passed through my arm and nothing more. Essentially it was stupid of me, I have others I need to take care of. It was a coward move on my part.

there was a guy on grinder ashamed of his penis and i really pressured him into showing me and it was fucking disgusting so i blocked him

and i know that caused him so much pain
and i feel bad but his dick was so ugly
i understand why they dont show it now
but im also glad i saw it so i didnt meet him

My cousin with genuine delusions and paranoia disappeared yesterday. Left a long post online, calling himself a prophet, and left without his phone.
He's highly narcissistic as well, so I don't believe he'll hurt himself, but I'm really fucking scared he'll hurt someone in the family. There are a lot of potential targets if he's aiming for some kind of retribution.

>>33473276 (OP)
I started posting to social media recently and its kinda been going well but some girls have dmd me wanting to talk to me and at first I accepted because I've never had a gf irl cuz I used to be ugly but now I'm attractive enough to get a gf. But I realized they're all degenerate and insufferable as fuck so I want to stop talking to them. should I just block them, or should I remove them as a follower and unfollow them, or ghost them? I'm scared they'll get angry and sc something I said and try to cancel me or dox private info

my lifetime celebrity crush was in my dream last night. i went somewhere that i couldn't leave, and ran into her. she walked around me multiple times to talk to other guys. i feel like shit.

its been so long since i touched a woman. i just want a loving hug or to kiss someone. wtf.

breaking up through message its so fucking peak zoomerism

Go head pull it. It's strong.

Well just like I thought after letting my wounds reopen she did in fact appear in my dreams last night. I'm never gonna heal from this shit lmao.

Some of the girls in the office said I was adorable the other day, very much in the cute and harmless defanged animal kind of way. I think this is probably the first time in a long while where I've felt personally attacked and condescended to. I've been around women my entire life so I know what they're like. I'm also a bit of a social tard and I confess I've unconsciously been exploiting that for most of my twenties to make life a bit more bearable. But having them casually say that out loud as easily as you would breathe sort of rubbed me the wrong way. It's probably a good sign, it must mean that there's still some small sense of self-worth sitting inside me despite how far I've fallen over the years. The question is, do I bring that part of me to life or give it the coup de grace it's been hiding from for the past six years? I think it's too late. Growing up in an all female environment as a guy with minimum male interaction outside fictional characters really does fuck you up inside, it's crazy.

>>33480708
>Growing up in an all female environment as a guy with minimum male interaction outside fictional characters really does fuck you up inside, it's crazy.
Maybe but it doesn't have to make you weak.

The world doesn’t want me

Someone poisoned my water bottle with fecal matter last year right after my wisdom tooth was removed and Derek and Tammy won’t stop entering my private space. I can’t get a job so I can get away from them. Everyone knows who I am and they want me to be homeless. Last time I slept in a tent someone broke in and stole some keys off of my key chain. This is what the world wants for me. It’s just time for me to kill myself. Fuck this world.

I don’t know what’s safe to eat. Every time they poke their head in my private space I have to throw all of my food in the garbage and they insist that they must break into the place I sleep because they don’t want me living in filth. Acting like they give a fuck how I live or what happens to me when they actually enjoy seeing me suffer.

Some kid on Facebook wants to jump me because I was making fun of him for simping on an post about "Dudes talk about selling their body but they're in the military!"

I know I didn't say anything wrong, so I just doubled down. "Go tell anyone important that you're trash talking vets. See how it goes for you." And he just flies into a rant about how "Me and everyone I fuck with is more important than anyone you'll ever know!"

I don't know what the fuck is going on with the world. Kid deleted his own posts, but what the fuck's with all these narcissistic drug addicts? Seems like it was less common when I was a kid.

I don’t know what to do

I was hoping that the camera would keep them from entering because I like to think that there is someone monitoring it to help me but they’ve just made a reason and I had to throw all of my food away. I can’t store food here anymore.

Oh my fucking god. My fucking boobs are so sore that even slowly turning from my back to the side hurts. This can't be normal. Holy shit.

I think I know what I did and didn’t do wrong. Sorry for everything I did wrong. That’s all I got.

i'm hung up on a famous woman i've had a crush on since 2005. i don't know why, i don't even know if i like her anymore, but i'm still drawn to her.

>>33481553
Sarah gadon?

>>33481562
no, sarah is hot, but i'm talking about hayley williams. i don't know why i can't just move on, i have from pretty much everyone else in my life, whether they be people i know or famous crushes.

Studio apartments are over 1700 a month now.

i don't have an outlet for my thoughts or feelings. nobody wants to listen and understand.

I just found out a lot of girls have their first orgasm by rubbing on their heel while sitting on the floor. I then found a video of a girl grinding her heel until she cums on pornhub. I have a new fetish.

I hope my friend isn't some kind of misandrist or something. Haven't seen them in months or talked to them in ages. They do have bad experiences with men but it would be very uncomfortable if they were some radfem who thinks all men are pigs.... considering I'm a closet trans man (ywnbam blah blah blah idgaf) who's told them already. I've had shit experiences with girls and women, anywhere from being called names to actual molestation, but I'm not some raging misogynist incel because of it. It sucks that I can't say this without sounding like some mra who hates women. I'll be real pissed if they hate men but see me as "one of the good ones" cause I'll know they see me as some safe harmless girl.

>>33481849
total passoid death

>>33481865
sorry I'm confused?

>>33481849
Adding on, it's more complicated than that (I didn't realize I was trans in someway until like a year after being molested) so I'm not sure I can say I was a male victim of sa / seperate online grooming. The memories are coming back and is feel like shit. Sorry. But yeah, I hate to generalize cause I find it illogical. Not all men or women are evil cause of their gender, but I think men are violent because of unfortunate societal circumstances. I do recognize that women have had it worse since the start but like. Idk. Feels bad you know.

this is too much pain for one life

>>33482230
Whats causing pain, anon?

>>33480897
I don’t actually know if my water bottle was poisoned. I just remember a fucked up taste and gagging while entering the laundromat.

Omg im working twerking and fucking bitches

>>33482417
Stop lying

>>33482417
Ooh. You got instantly owned.

I got 500 bitches and all of them love me

I do not know what needs to be done to have these relatives on my mothers side realize that what they do on a consistent basis is stupid, and I dont think there is anything I could really do about it because they're not going to change if something was to be said about it or if nothing is said at all so I should just give up. Additionally, add on to the fact that I feel like im on a time limit with everything I found out about my fathers medical issues and I basically feel more alone than ever. I could only hope I can get real friends, or just real people who acknowledge my existence, I don't know if real connections can even be formed at this point, because everyone is online or something, but what I do know is that if things turn for the worse on my end, I just have to hope I have left something good in the world before it happens

I've moved into a new apartment, a cheaper one. Right now two things are bugging me. First, the freezer works but makes a noisy clicking sound when it comes on. Second, the guy below me often plays music with bass loud enough that I can feel it and hear it. I need to set about dealing with these issues.

I don't know how to start healing and moving on from you. I loved you more than anything and would give the world to see your smile one last time. I hope we can find our way to each other again some day.

>>33479113
>I’m dying. Literally. I have some long term terminal shit that I can do nothing about. 2 years max. I don’t want to tell my wife. I don’t want her to worry and try to jump through hoops expecting a miracle and draining our bank account for nothing. I’ll probably quit my job towards the end. I don’t know. I love you Jessica and I hope you do well without me.

I wish that I was terminal.

i just went to see my friends new band (the singer is a babe), and i just want to play music again. i know i'll never succeed. i know no one will ever care. but it feels right. i need to lose 120lbs, rent a band house with 3-4 other people, get off the internet permanently, and just do it.

>>33483638
>i just went to see my friends new band (the singer is a babe), and i just want to play music again. i know i'll never succeed. i know no one will ever care. but it feels right. i need to lose 120lbs, rent a band house with 3-4 other people, get off the internet permanently, and just do it.

It doesn't matter how good you are or shitty, it's about who you know in the business. Very few do actually succeed, the music biz is horrible you'll get absolutely fucked. Just try to find like minded musicians and play for fun.

how did this thread get bottom'd so fast
/adv/ is slow as fuck