What madness calls to me at this infernal hour!?! Why must I awake and feel the need to play League of Legends???

>>714951190
>"It is four past the witching hour, and the cock is soon to crow. What could possibly possess you to craft chocolate pudding at this ungodly state?"

>Kain's question cut through my soul like a silver dagger enchanted with the darkest of magics. In an instant, my mind was flooded with torturous visions of all that had led me to this abysmal state of torment, twisting that infernal knife with the unbearable knowledge that now, as ever, I was powerless to escape my terrible destiny. The stirs of my spoon mimic the eternal and unchanging revolutions of the wheel of fate, binding me and every other being in existence to a single immutable path, and while most of the wretched souls tied to that abominable wheel were blissfully unaware of their existential imprisonment, I was not so fortunate. No, I had been shackled with the burden of knowledge. It was all I could do to keep what remained of my spirit from falling into total despair as I turned to reply, "because I've lost con-" Suddenly I stopped, unable to utter the remaining words. 'Because I had lost control of my life...' But how could I lose something that I had never truly possessed? Suddenly, laughter from the other room, mocking me. Mocking all that I had endured, and all that I had yet to endure. Mocking existence itself. The rest of the world fell away; I could no longer perceive anything except that laughter, that horrible horrible laughter. I could not bear it. Despair overwhelmed me. The spoon fell to the floor and I with it. I hoped this would be the final torment, that the horror of my existence would finally prove too strong to withstand and my mind would shatter and disappear into final oblivion for all time...