>>34054571
to a fat girl I once knew:
I was a micro-celeb drugged on sleep-deprivation and pua "confidence" when I met you
and you confirmed all of my fears about women
and about my own retardation when dealing with them in real life
that sexual desire i had as a man could never be acted upon in real life
i saw a life of wizardry ahead of me
but i was nominally successful at the time
i decided to troon instead
i still find it odd, unnerving or twisted, what's the word
was it because of you?
i'd wanted to do it for years
so i tried to do the opposite

i don't even care anymore, you were fat, too indirect, and I acted oddly
i don't care
and i hate that i think of you every time I see tomoko

i don't know if I will find anything else, and I don't know where to look
the places I do look, it feels like falling into the same trap again