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7/23/2025, 5:00:18 AM
>Ozzy Osbourne has made it to Hell, and EVERYONE is ecstatic
>Lucifer shakes his hand and personally welcomes him in
>"You know idea how long we've been waiting for you, 'Prince of Darkness'! Please come with me, I've an entire suite for you in my palace!"
>"Pleasure's all mine, Luc'! About fucking time I made it here, place looks lovely!"
>Sathanas tried not to fangirl but ends up talking entirely too fast
>"Mr. Osbourne ican'tbelieveyou'rereallyhereithoughtallthedrugsinyoursystemmadesomekindofimmortalitypotionbutnoyou'rejustimmunetothempleasebiteanotherbatformepleaseautographmyjacketi'msorryyou'rejustsoamazing!"
>"Give that girl some Ritalin, but first let me sign her jacket."
>Zdrada hangs out with him and does every drug imaginable
>Beelzebub relishes the chance to give him a checkup, studying his genes to figure out how he was so resistant to drugs
>"I know the mortals checked on you, but I simply must do so myself! For the records, of course."
>When he meets Helltaker, he can hardly believe the story he told
>"A whole fucking harem of demon girls, including the goddamn Queen of Hell herself?! The balls on you, mate! Makes me look like a silly bastard, doesn't he?"
>"Hardly. I got a harem, but you've got vocals I could never reach, fame I can only dream of. I might technically be king of Hell, but you're more of a royal than I could ever be."
>"...you think my family misses me?"
>"No doubt. But they'll never forget how loving you were. You put family first and went out like a legend. Nobody could ask for a better way to go out than that."
>"...you know, I see why they love you so much. You're a proper gentleman. And of course you've got the proper taste in glasses!"
>They both laughed at that, and told each other stories of their exploits for hours
>The Helltaker has finally found a man after his own heart, as had Ozzy
>Lucifer watched them talk, and gave a toast to the both of them
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>Lucifer shakes his hand and personally welcomes him in
>"You know idea how long we've been waiting for you, 'Prince of Darkness'! Please come with me, I've an entire suite for you in my palace!"
>"Pleasure's all mine, Luc'! About fucking time I made it here, place looks lovely!"
>Sathanas tried not to fangirl but ends up talking entirely too fast
>"Mr. Osbourne ican'tbelieveyou'rereallyhereithoughtallthedrugsinyoursystemmadesomekindofimmortalitypotionbutnoyou'rejustimmunetothempleasebiteanotherbatformepleaseautographmyjacketi'msorryyou'rejustsoamazing!"
>"Give that girl some Ritalin, but first let me sign her jacket."
>Zdrada hangs out with him and does every drug imaginable
>Beelzebub relishes the chance to give him a checkup, studying his genes to figure out how he was so resistant to drugs
>"I know the mortals checked on you, but I simply must do so myself! For the records, of course."
>When he meets Helltaker, he can hardly believe the story he told
>"A whole fucking harem of demon girls, including the goddamn Queen of Hell herself?! The balls on you, mate! Makes me look like a silly bastard, doesn't he?"
>"Hardly. I got a harem, but you've got vocals I could never reach, fame I can only dream of. I might technically be king of Hell, but you're more of a royal than I could ever be."
>"...you think my family misses me?"
>"No doubt. But they'll never forget how loving you were. You put family first and went out like a legend. Nobody could ask for a better way to go out than that."
>"...you know, I see why they love you so much. You're a proper gentleman. And of course you've got the proper taste in glasses!"
>They both laughed at that, and told each other stories of their exploits for hours
>The Helltaker has finally found a man after his own heart, as had Ozzy
>Lucifer watched them talk, and gave a toast to the both of them
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