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7/18/2025, 2:57:10 AM
>This is it. The last stop. They could still play it off; blame it on the alcohol and go to bed alone and at least try to reclaim a little of what they had before. But this… the next step was over a cliff, no lifeline in sight.
His mouth feels terribly dry. “Heng, I… I want this.” Not that he even really knew what ‘this’ was. What it—what they were going to be. It made him feel a little sick, guts twisted up and stained with his shame; all of this is wrong, it’s degenerate, it’s deviant—at least, it should be, but… nothing has ever felt more right. He swallows hard before he can ask:
“Do you?”
The pause between breaths feels like a small eternity. Somewhere in the months she spends waiting to inhale, she finds it in herself to look back at him. She’s almost a little surprised when she does; the last thing she expected was to see her brother… afraid. Fear and love and shame and burning desire in his eyes, all crystallizing into something sharp and brittle. Being vulnerable was never his strong suit, but he split open his chest and put his heart in her hands.
“Stupid Yi…” Her voice sounds small even to her own ears, tears pearl in the corners of her eyes. Damn him for taking all the risk unto himself, leaving none for her. Not again, never again. Her hands lift between them, one on his shoulder, the other cupping his cheek.
“Of course I do.”
His mouth feels terribly dry. “Heng, I… I want this.” Not that he even really knew what ‘this’ was. What it—what they were going to be. It made him feel a little sick, guts twisted up and stained with his shame; all of this is wrong, it’s degenerate, it’s deviant—at least, it should be, but… nothing has ever felt more right. He swallows hard before he can ask:
“Do you?”
The pause between breaths feels like a small eternity. Somewhere in the months she spends waiting to inhale, she finds it in herself to look back at him. She’s almost a little surprised when she does; the last thing she expected was to see her brother… afraid. Fear and love and shame and burning desire in his eyes, all crystallizing into something sharp and brittle. Being vulnerable was never his strong suit, but he split open his chest and put his heart in her hands.
“Stupid Yi…” Her voice sounds small even to her own ears, tears pearl in the corners of her eyes. Damn him for taking all the risk unto himself, leaving none for her. Not again, never again. Her hands lift between them, one on his shoulder, the other cupping his cheek.
“Of course I do.”
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