Search Results
7/5/2025, 9:34:17 AM
6/23/2025, 5:10:58 PM
>Be me
>Sad, lonely autist with severe trauma I've never worked through.
>Bullied as a child, abused by parents, taught to always roll over and let it happen. Struggled to act on anger because of this.
>Lived as a hikimori for eight years, extremely socially maladjusted because of my autism and lack of human contact.
>Always worried friends secretly hate me, and can't stand me because of the stupid shit I say.
>Having a weirdly vivid, realistic dream.
>See friend sitting near me.
>Ask him for spare change, I don't have enough for the bus fare.
>He looks at me and happily explains to me that he doesn't like me, and that he'd appreciate it if I left him alone.
>Feel extremely dejected and sad, walk away.
>Suddenly spot another guy snickering beside him, he mockingly calls out to me.
>He knows me from when I was a kid, he was one of the people that bullied me.
>Begins laughing with friend about how much of a gullible retard I used to be, and acts like I still am one.
>Feel hollow anger start to rise up inside of me. It's muted by a deep sense of depression.
>Glare at this guy, I want him to know that's not who I am anymore.
>Continues to jokingly mock me for being a clueless autist, friend starts laughing at me as well.
>Something inside of me finally breaks.
>I lunge at the two of them, almost kill friend, choking out this guy. I'm not strong enough to do this in real life, I'm a twig.
>Running around them like a madman as I attack and beat them.
>Suddenly pause.
>"I'm better than this." I said this out loud.
>Immense guilt washes over me for what I almost did.
>Then, he mocks me again.
>Guilt vanishes
>Anger comes back.
>Kill friend.
>Begin beating indescript bully to death, I don't even know who he's supposed to be.
>Grab him as he's missing half of his face and hold him up to my face, tell him he's the reason I ended up like this, that this is all his fault.
I'm thinking I should probably see a therapist.
>Sad, lonely autist with severe trauma I've never worked through.
>Bullied as a child, abused by parents, taught to always roll over and let it happen. Struggled to act on anger because of this.
>Lived as a hikimori for eight years, extremely socially maladjusted because of my autism and lack of human contact.
>Always worried friends secretly hate me, and can't stand me because of the stupid shit I say.
>Having a weirdly vivid, realistic dream.
>See friend sitting near me.
>Ask him for spare change, I don't have enough for the bus fare.
>He looks at me and happily explains to me that he doesn't like me, and that he'd appreciate it if I left him alone.
>Feel extremely dejected and sad, walk away.
>Suddenly spot another guy snickering beside him, he mockingly calls out to me.
>He knows me from when I was a kid, he was one of the people that bullied me.
>Begins laughing with friend about how much of a gullible retard I used to be, and acts like I still am one.
>Feel hollow anger start to rise up inside of me. It's muted by a deep sense of depression.
>Glare at this guy, I want him to know that's not who I am anymore.
>Continues to jokingly mock me for being a clueless autist, friend starts laughing at me as well.
>Something inside of me finally breaks.
>I lunge at the two of them, almost kill friend, choking out this guy. I'm not strong enough to do this in real life, I'm a twig.
>Running around them like a madman as I attack and beat them.
>Suddenly pause.
>"I'm better than this." I said this out loud.
>Immense guilt washes over me for what I almost did.
>Then, he mocks me again.
>Guilt vanishes
>Anger comes back.
>Kill friend.
>Begin beating indescript bully to death, I don't even know who he's supposed to be.
>Grab him as he's missing half of his face and hold him up to my face, tell him he's the reason I ended up like this, that this is all his fault.
I'm thinking I should probably see a therapist.
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