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7/22/2025, 10:31:39 PM
>>40449375
(2/2)
>but I would've been unhappy there (it's complicated)
oh, fair! But.. did you lose contact to the people working there entirely?
>I just wanted to be knowledgeable about /something/
very researcher brained! And even your ideal career would be R&D from what you said. But yes, there is no need to force yourself to seek self actualization as your *job*.
>I feel like you're trying to help and I am just bitching and moaning.
You are sincerely and openly expressing how you feel and expose your inner workings to us, which is important for us to tailor advice that is not only useful, but meaningful to you.
>I force myself to keep up my habits, but I think in my heart of hearts
>I just want to rot and complain and feel bad for myself.
Anon.. that is what makes you so fundamentally, self evidently human. You don't want to struggle. It is difficult. Some part of you just wants to lie down and have the forest floor claim you. That these things are sometimes tiring and that you struggle.. that is normal. Which is why I have this "people need people" state of mind to begin with, you know? The fact that you try and find something to work with here, with me (well, all of /sig/) is already a good thing. Not a "bare minimum". An active bit of effort you put in, something admirable. Something not everyone in your shoes would have the energy to do. And we try and grow something from that seedling. We're all alive for the first time though, Anon. And you deserve compassion just as much as those you would be compassionate to.
You are trying, and your struggles, irrespective of how fruitful they seem right now, inspire others to do the same. And I appreciate that both as a contribution to this thread as well as a thing you do for yourself as the person behind the screen.
If you feel too negative, too one sided, try to go into yourself and share things in life you are grateful for. Those "other things in life".. name them!
(2/2)
>but I would've been unhappy there (it's complicated)
oh, fair! But.. did you lose contact to the people working there entirely?
>I just wanted to be knowledgeable about /something/
very researcher brained! And even your ideal career would be R&D from what you said. But yes, there is no need to force yourself to seek self actualization as your *job*.
>I feel like you're trying to help and I am just bitching and moaning.
You are sincerely and openly expressing how you feel and expose your inner workings to us, which is important for us to tailor advice that is not only useful, but meaningful to you.
>I force myself to keep up my habits, but I think in my heart of hearts
>I just want to rot and complain and feel bad for myself.
Anon.. that is what makes you so fundamentally, self evidently human. You don't want to struggle. It is difficult. Some part of you just wants to lie down and have the forest floor claim you. That these things are sometimes tiring and that you struggle.. that is normal. Which is why I have this "people need people" state of mind to begin with, you know? The fact that you try and find something to work with here, with me (well, all of /sig/) is already a good thing. Not a "bare minimum". An active bit of effort you put in, something admirable. Something not everyone in your shoes would have the energy to do. And we try and grow something from that seedling. We're all alive for the first time though, Anon. And you deserve compassion just as much as those you would be compassionate to.
You are trying, and your struggles, irrespective of how fruitful they seem right now, inspire others to do the same. And I appreciate that both as a contribution to this thread as well as a thing you do for yourself as the person behind the screen.
If you feel too negative, too one sided, try to go into yourself and share things in life you are grateful for. Those "other things in life".. name them!
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