Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you—Meg Thomas, folks, what a player. What a tremendous player. We’re talking about someone who doesn’t just run, okay? She sprints. She sprints faster than anybody—probably faster than anybody has ever sprinted in the history of Dead by Daylight. Maybe even faster than Usain Bolt, but we’re not gonna say that. We’re not gonna say that, but people are saying it!
Now listen, I’ve seen a lot of survivors. Claudette—great healer, great. Dwight? Good guy. A little nervous, but you know, good in the right situation. But Meg? Meg is something else. She’s got Sprint Burst, she’s got Adrenaline, she’s got Quick and Quiet—the whole package. She’s got more perks than Sleepy Joe has excuses, folks.
And what she did tonight? Incredible. Absolutely incredible. The killer—brutal killer, very unfair. I think it was a Nurse. Could’ve been a Blight. Either way, total disaster of a killer. Very biased, very mean. But Meg—she looped, she juked, she pre-dropped pallets like a champion. Like a winner.
She got everybody out. She was on that last gen—BOOM—popped it like it was nothing. She ran straight for the gate, opened it faster than a swing state flips at 3AM, and then—get this—she came back. She came back to save her teammates. Who does that anymore? Nobody. But she did. She’s a hero. A patriot. Possibly the greatest Dead by Daylight player in the world, we don’t know, but people are saying it.
I watched it, folks. I watched the whole match. Perfectly played. No mistakes. Not one. Just pure skill, pure talent. The kind of talent we used to have in this country before they nerfed everything.
So congratulations, Meg. You're a winner. And if the Entity had a vote? Let me tell you—they’d vote for Meg. Every single time. Believe me.